


Conflict of Interest

by zebraljb



Category: Backstreet Boys
Genre: F/M, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-01-14
Updated: 2012-01-14
Packaged: 2017-10-29 12:41:37
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 17
Words: 23,693
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/319991
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/zebraljb/pseuds/zebraljb
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A contest is created between AJ and Kevin when Nick shows an interest in his "pink side."</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> For some reason, I haven't written a whole lot of BSB slash. I like AJ in this story. Written in 2000.

CONFLICT OF INTEREST  
One

 

“Home. Home home home!” Nick sang, bouncing up and down in his seat. Everyone groaned.

“Nick, bro, I love you, but I will SO not miss you,” AJ said, clapping Nick on the back. “Two months straight with you without a break is enough to kill any man.”

“Awww…love you, too, Aje,” Nick said, leaning across the aisle to hug his friend. He gave him a smacking kiss on the cheek. AJ wiped it off, growling in disgust.

“What are you gonna do first?” Howie asked, watching out the window as the plane began its descent to the airport.

“Sleep. Sleep, then sleep some more!” Kevin volunteered.

“I have no clue. I just know it involves me being anywhere I can with Leigh,” Brian said with a happy sigh. Groans filled the cabin of the small plane.

“You give me a cavity, dude,” AJ said. “Me? I’m gonna veg for a while, then party, then veg some more.”

“So basically you’ll act just like you did ON this press tour,” Kevin said. AJ glared at him but said nothing.

“I’m gonna hang at home, go out on the boat, spend time with Lara, and…”

“Play Playstation Two,” everyone finished for Nick. He laughed.

“Yep.”

“I’m gonna be working with the club, I guess,” Howie said with a sigh. “That work is NEVER done.”

“You need anything, call,” AJ told him, and Howie smiled gratefully.

“We ARE gonna get together while we’re home, right?” Nick asked anxiously. The others nodded.

“Of course, Junior. Can’t go for long without seeing your sexy ass,” AJ said, waggling his eyebrows. Nick shivered.

“Back off, dude. You gross me out with that stuff.”

“Oh, Nicky, you’re SO sexy!” AJ said in a high falsetto. Brian and Howie laughed.

“Leave him alone, AJ,” Kevin growled, unbuckling his seatbelt and standing up as the plane rolled to a stop. He grabbed his bag from the overhead compartment and was ready to run off the plane when one of the reps from Jive stopped him.

“Hold on there. You guys have a quick debriefing with some of the bigwigs before you can go home.”

“On the PLANE?” Kevin snapped.

“No. In the VIP lounge. Go down the catwalk and hang a left,” the man said. “Sorry.”

“GodDAMMIT! Can’t even start a vacation without a meeting,” Kevin grumbled. He took off across the tarmac before the other guys were out of their seats.

Brian grabbed his things and hurried up behind his cousin. “Yo…Kev…you okay?”

“Yes. Just tired. And hungry. And did I mention tired?”

“You forgot bitchy,” Nick said, his long legs quickly catching him up to the other two. Kevin ignored him.

“I’ll be fine,” he told Brian, though he wasn’t quite sure of that himself. He WAS tired, WAS hungry, but something else was eating at him that he couldn’t quite put his finger on. He had been down since the divorce from Kristin, but this was something more. He was momentarily shaken out of his reverie by AJ jumping up on his back.

“Giddy-up, horsey!”

Kevin quickly dumped AJ to the ground. “I will SO not miss you guys,” he mumbled, making a beeline for the VIP lounge.

 

“Okay…I’m gonna have a party on Friday, I think. You guys there?” AJ asked as they waited for their various rides. The other four grinned. AJ’s parties were legendary, and when he was home he had one about every two or three weeks.

“I’ll be there,” Howie said. Kevin slowly nodded. A party might be just what he needed.

“Bri?”

“We’ll be there,” Brian said. AJ smiled. He knew that when he was home, Brian was virtually inseparable from his wife.

“Nicky?”

“I don’t know…I’ll have to ask…HEY!” Nick swept up the brunette that practically fell into his arms as she stopped running.

“Hi, good looking!” Lara pulled back to look at Nick. She ruffled his hair, and kissed his cheek. “Missed ya, ya big doofus.”

“Missed you, too,” Nick said, his face wreathed in smiles.

“Hi, guys.” Lara bestowed hugs. AJ dipped her into a bow before giving her a smacking kiss on the lips.

“Hey, Lara, before we go, AJ’s having a party on Friday. We there?” Nick asked, swinging his backpack onto his shoulder.

“We are SO there. Sorry, boys, you’ve had him long enough. He’s mine now.” Lara linked her arm through Nick’s and led him to her car.

“Oh, there’s Leigh. I’ll see you guys on Friday.” Brian gave quick hugs and went out to the parking lot.

“Someone coming to get you?” Howie asked Kevin.

“No. I had someone bring my truck over…it’s in the back lot. Just wanted to say bye to you guys first.”

“You sure you’re okay?” Howie asked as the limo AJ had called for them pulled up in front of the airport.

“Nothing I can’t fix. See you Friday.” Kevin hugged Howie then slowly began to trudge out to his truck.


	2. Chapter 2

CONFLICT OF INTEREST  
Two

 

“Dammit!” Kevin swore as the phone rang. He was in the middle of making his dinner and everything was about to boil over. “Hello?” He answered angrily.

“Kevin?” A female voice answered softly.

“Yes,” he replied guardedly.

“This is Lara.”

“Nick’s Lara?” Kevin quickly turned off the burners.

“Yes. I’m sorry to call you…I know this is weird…but I didn’t know who else to call.”

“Are you okay?” Kevin heard tears in her voice. He didn’t know Lara all that well. He had hung at places where she was hanging out, too, but they hadn’t talked all that much. She sounded sad. He hated when women sounded sad. He could be sad and that was fine, but not a woman.

“Yes, I’m just…lonely. None of my friends are around and Nick is out with Alex. You, um…wouldn’t want to have dinner, would you?”

Kevin was shocked. Normally Lara and Nick were inseparable. This was only their third day home from the tour. “Did you guys have a fight?”

“No, not really. He just wanted to go out with AJ and I didn’t want to go.”

“Well, Lara, I kinda have dinner started here,” Kevin replied, looking down at the chicken and pasta he was making. He heard her sigh.

“That’s okay, I really shouldn’t have bothered you. I’m sorry, Kevin.”

“No, Lara, wait! I can pack it up, bring it over, and we can finish heating it up over there,” Kevin said. “I don’t feel like hanging here alone yet again anyway. The apartment can get really empty.”

“TELL me about it,” Lara said. “Thanks, Kevin. I appreciate this.”

 

When Lara opened the door of the small house she shared with Nick, she smiled at Kevin. The smile didn’t quite reach her eyes. “You’re awesome. Thanks for coming over.”

“Hey, I prefer your company much more than being alone.” Kevin gave her his best smile.

“You’re sweet. I just needed a friend tonight.” Lara took the food from him and went out to the stove, where she already had various pots and pans set out.

“You SURE you and Nick didn’t fight?” Kevin draped himself onto a small kitchen chair. She nodded.

“Yep. He and AJ were going to a bar. I said I wasn’t interested. He said have a nice night and they left.”

“Odd. Not like Nick.”

“He wanted to go out.” Lara shrugged as she dumped the pasta into water to finish cooking. “This looks good.”

“Let’s hope so,” Kevin said, crossing his fingers. She giggled.

 

“I’ll do these dishes later,” Lara said as she carried them to the sink. “Let’s go into the living room.”

Kevin picked up their glasses of wine and carried them into the living room. They sat at opposite ends of the sofa. He felt odd. This was Nick’s girlfriend. There was no kind of vibe like she was hitting on him or anything, but he still felt weird. Kept thinking about Nick, what he would think if he walked in. “Did you like dinner?” Kevin asked nervously. She nodded.

“Fantastic. Thank you.” Lara stared into her glass of wine. “Did you ever feel that weird kind of lonely where even though there are people around, you’re alone?”

“Yes,” Kevin said, surprised. That was what he had felt the last month of their press tour.

“Nick and I…even when he’s here, he’s not,” she said slowly. “I miss him.”

“I understand,” Kevin said with a smile, and he meant it. He enjoyed the peace and quiet of being home, but of all of his friends, he had really missed Nick the most. Missed his pranks, his jokes, his bubbly personality. He even missed his clumsy dancing.

“It’s hard, sometimes, being with him. He’s so…”

“Charismatic?” Kevin suggested. Lara smiled.

“Yes. You’re kinda drawn to him. Him and AJ.”

“AJ’s not the same,” Kevin said, his brow furrowing. “He’s…different. He seeks the limelight whereas Nick just appears in it.”

“EXACTLY,” Lara said. Her lip quivered. “And I can’t get anywhere near that light anymore.”

“Oh, Lara…don’t…don’t cry,” Kevin said, setting his glass down. He pulled her into a hug. “Shhh.”

“I can’t help it, Kevin. I love him so much…and I thought I could deal with this, but I can’t.” Lara allowed herself to sob on Kevin’s strong shoulder.

 

“Nice tits…holy FUCK nice ass…” AJ murmured to Nick as he glanced at passing people over his sunglasses.

“AJ, that was a GUY,” Nick said, laughing.

“So?” AJ watched the nice ass mill into the crowd. “Shit…he was fine.”

“AJ, what’s up with you? Are you gay or what?” Nick finally asked. Four beers had made him bold.

“Not…exactly…” AJ said. He sipped at his drink. “Let’s just say I’ve enjoyed both sexes, and haven’t really decided on one. Girls are more fun for like playing and snuggling and just hanging with in a romantic sex…but guys…shit, Nick. The way it feels to just have someone fuck the living shit out of you…can’t get that from a girl.”

Nick’s mouth fell open at AJ’s brash honesty. “Holy shit, Aje.”

“What? You mean you’ve never done it anal?”

“Well, yeah,” Nick said.

“Ya know the tightness? The feeling of perverse invasion? It works that way on the receiving end, too.”

“I see,” Nick said quietly. “What about relationshipwise?”

“Haven’t really thought about it. Just usually looking for a fuck when it comes to guys.” AJ waved down the bartender and ordered another. “How are you and Lara?”

Nick shrugged. “The usual. Not sure if it’s what I want but it works for now.”

AJ looked at him carefully. This wasn’t the Nick he knew. “So…Nick…all this newfound curiosity into the possibly gay lifestyle…interesting.” He placed a hand on Nick’s shoulder. “Wanna go somewhere and fuck?”

Nick laughed, the light finally returning to his blue eyes. “No, thanks, Aje. But I’ll keep you in mind.”


	3. Chapter 3

CONFLICT OF INTEREST  
Three

 

When Nick and AJ returned to Nick’s place around two am, they found Kevin and Lara on the couch. Kevin was aimlessly flipping channels on a muted TV while Lara slept with her head on his lap.

“What the hell?” AJ asked, almost amused as he looked at Nick’s face.

“What’s going on?” Nick demanded. Kevin sighed.

“Keep it down, assholes. She’s sleeping. She was lonely. Seems someone decided to give her attitude just because she didn’t want to go out tonight.” Kevin’s green eyes glared at Nick. “She was lonely and depressed and called. I came over.”

Nick fell to his knees by the sofa. “Hey, baby,” he said to Lara in a whisper. She whimpered and opened her eyes.

“Nicky?”

“Let’s get you to bed. C’mere.” He easily scooped her into his arms and carried her down the hall. “Thanks, Kev,” he called over his shoulder.

Kevin stretched and stood. “I’m outta here.”

“Have a nice time making the moves on Nick’s woman?” AJ asked with a smirk. Kevin turned the glare on him.

“Wasn’t like that AT ALL.”

“SURE, it wasn’t. That’s okay, though,” AJ said, shrugging. “We had a very nice time tonight. Checked out people, talked about sex…”

“Of course you did, AJ. Any time you can talk about possible ways to get laid is an enjoyable time for you.” Kevin pulled on his jacket. Something about the idea of Nick picking people up in a bar with AJ bothered him.

“Meow there, big boy. Horny much?” AJ flopped onto a recliner.

“That has nothing to do with it!” Kevin hissed. “Is there any reason why you have to drag him into that weird nighttime world you inhabit? Where you fuck anything with an open hole?” The words were out before Kevin could stop them. AJ chuckled, which only infuriated Kevin more. And Kevin KNEW that AJ chuckled simply to infuriate him more.

“If Nick decides to try the more…liberating…world of same sex encounters, who are we to judge him? And let’s look at the situation here. Which one of us was out on a Friday night having fun, and which one of us was home alone? Huh, Kev? At least I’m not home feeling sorry for myself every night, pouting away in the dark.”

“I wasn’t feeling sorry for myself!” Kevin growled, and he knew it was true. He was lonely…was missing something…and he couldn’t pinpoint it, which angered him more.

“Okay, Kev, whatever.” AJ stood. “I’m not gonna fight with you about this, cuz you’re my bro. But you need to quit feeling so damn sorry for yourself because things didn’t work between you and Kristin. It wasn’t mean to be. Maybe someone else is out there for you.” AJ’s brown eyes were sympathetic.

“What about you, AJ? Doesn’t bother you, all this mindless fucking, guys, girls, whatever you can get your hands on? Doesn’t it leave you empty?” Kevin asked bluntly. AJ smiled slightly.

“Sometimes. Sometimes I feel like there’s someone special out there for me, too…and I’m just gonna have a good time til I find them.” They both stopped talking as Nick returned to the room.

“God, I feel like shit now. I didn’t know she was that upset.” Nick ran a hand through his hair. “Thanks, Kevin. Thanks for being here when I couldn’t be.”

“It’s okay, little bro.” Kevin walked over to hug Nick. “Anything I can do, I…”

He froze. Something ran through him like an electric shock. He felt it from his head to his toes. Felt his skin break out in goosebumps. Felt every sense become intensified. He could smell only Nick’s cologne, feel only his body in his arms, hear only his own heart thumping.

“Anything I can do, I will,” Kevin finished weakly. “Look, I gotta run. Good night.” Kevin practically ran for the door. He jumped into his car and sped out of the driveway. He stopped at a stop sign a block down the road and just sat there. His head hit the steering wheel and he groaned. He had never been so scared in all his life. When Nick’s long fingers had run through his hair, Kevin had wanted to feel that hair, too. When he had hugged Nick, he had wanted to just continue to press his body against Nick’s tall frame. No no no no no. This wasn’t happening. Not to him. He didn’t want Nick that way…couldn’t want Nick that way. Nick was his little brother. Nick had a girlfriend who loved him. Nick was…Nick was what Kevin had been missing since the tour had ended. Fucking AJ. AJ had put this into his head. AJ had put it into his head, and a good bottle of booze could take it out. Kevin slammed his foot on the gas and hurried towards home.


	4. Chapter 4

CONFLICT OF INTEREST  
Four

 

“Aje, great party as usual!” Howie shouted over the booming music.

“I know! Do I rule or WHAT?” AJ screamed, letting loose his patented cackle. He wove through the crowded living room where people were dancing. He made his way to the makeshift bar and poured himself another glass of Jack. He glanced out over the mass of people. LeighAnne and Brian were grooving to their own private beat in the corner. Howie had a girl on either side of him and was trying to share himself equally. AJ had to smile at that. Kevin was standing and talking with Lara and Nick. It was obvious that Nick was totally into getting out on the dance floor, but he wanted Lara to come with him. Lara was deep in conversation with Kevin, and Nick kept looking at the dance floor with a longing eye. AJ made a beeline to him.

“Hey, Blondie, come dance with me.” AJ grabbed Nick by the arm. “Excuse use.” Lara glanced at them once, then continued her conversation with Kevin.

“What the hell was that all about?” Nick protested, shaking AJ’s hand off.

“You wanted to dance. I wanted to dance with you. End of story.” AJ began to shake his booty in a crazy way that made Nick grin. “This is how you dance. I’m just trying to be like you.”

“I do NOT dance that bad,” Nick contradicted, laughing as AJ tried to NOT dance.

“Most of the time, you do.” AJ stopped dancing and grinned up at him. “But we love you anyway. You’re sexy enough that it makes up for your lack of talent.”

“Fuck you,” Nick said affectionately, faking a swing at AJ’s head.

“Ooh. Is that a threat or a promise, big boy?” AJ said, pressing himself up against Nick and walking his finger up Nick’s chest to playfully poke him in the nose. Nick swallowed deeply and looked around the room. Most of the people there knew AJ well and wouldn’t have cared, and those who WOULD have were dancing or talking.

“AJ, don’t,” Nick said nervously, giving AJ a gentle push back. “I’m not…”

“I know I know…you’re not like that,” AJ sighed, downing his drink and looking up at Nick mournfully. “Oh, Nickolas, the things I could teach you.” He looked Nick up and down.

“And I’m sure you’d be quite the teacher,” Nick said. He couldn’t help but smile at the pout on AJ’s face.

“Oh, Nicky, if you only knew,” AJ whispered, giving Nick a sultry look above his sunglasses. “The pure ecstasy…” His voice was a breath of sound, barely audible above the music. Nick swallowed again and ran his tongue over his red lips. As much as he didn’t want to react, AJ knew he WAS reacting. AJ smiled at him seductively. “C’mon, Nicky, let me show you. Just once. Tonight. After the party.”

The music changed to a slow song, and Lara squirmed in between them. “Dance with me, Nick?”  
“Of course, baby,” Nick said, smiling at her gratefully. He sent AJ one more confused look, then pulled Lara into his arms. AJ toasted him with the remnants of his drink and went to get more.

 

Kevin leaned against the wall and smiled at the way Lara wiggled her way between Nick and AJ. Things seemed to be better then they had been between Lara and Nick. They talked and laughed and picked on each other just like always. Kevin was happy for them…but at the same time was incredibly miserable. Even a bottle of hard liquor hadn’t kicked the idea of Nick out of his head, and this idea was slowly taking over his brain. He watched Lara lay her head on his shoulder and he sighed morosely. Nick looked so good that night, wearing a black tshirt under a dark green button-up shirt, with khaki pants.

“You okay, Kevin?” AJ asked, pouring himself yet another Jack Daniels.

“Haven’t you had enough?” Kevin asked him. AJ glared at him.

“My party, my house, my bar. You don’t like it, leave.”

“Know what? You’re absolutely right. Gimme some of that,” Kevin told him, grabbing a glass and throwing some ice into it. AJ looked at him curiously but did as he asked.

 

The party progressed as AJ’s always did…people got drunker, some got louder, some quieter, but anyone who left had a designated driver with them. That was one of AJ’s diehard rules, and all of his friends respected it. Lara and Nick got into a fight in another room as the party died down, and Nick stomped off alone.

AJ and Kevin were slowly trying to clean up some of the bigger messes before going to bed when she appeared from the study. “What the hell are you doing here?” AJ said in surprise. “I saw Nick leave an hour ago!”

“He left…I didn’t,” she said, tears slowly streaming down her face. She stumbled over a pile of beer cans on the floor.

“Sit down,” Kevin said, shoving some things from a chair. She sat.

“Can I have that, please?” She asked, motioning to the bottle of Jim Beam on a coffee table. It was three-quarters full.

Kevin and AJ looked at each other. Lara wasn’t a drinker. “Lara, do you think that’s a good idea?”

Lara stared up at Kevin. “Kevin, you’re here because you’re too drunk to drive, right?”

“Well…” Kevin hedged. He HAD helped AJ finish off a bottle and a half of Jack, but he could hold his liquor well. “I’m not drunk but I don’t wanna take the chance,” he finished.

“Whatever. Give me the fucking bottle, okay? I’ve already had three glasses in the last hour anyway,” she snapped. She wiped away her tears and swiped the bottle from Kevin’s hand. She chugged for a few seconds, then gasped as the liquor hit her throat. “Thank you,” she panted.

“What’s going on?” AJ asked. Even in his drunken haze this totally didn’t seem right.

“You clean. I’ll drink. Then I’ll tell you,” she promised. The two men looked at each other but continued to pick up.

About fifteen minutes later Lara had almost emptied the bottle and the room no longer looked as if a hurricane had hit it. “C’mon. Let’s go upstairs to my room. You two can clean up in the bathroom, and I’ll get Lara some pjs.” They trudged upstairs ahead of AJ as he turned off lights downstairs. Kevin went into the bathroom to wash up as Lara sat on the edge of AJ’s waterbed.

“Oh, GOD, bad idea!” Lara moaned, holding her head. AJ chuckled as he dug through drawers.

“You’ll get used to it, I swear,” he said. He held out a pair of shorts and a tshirt. “This okay?”

“Great,” she said, taking them. “Thanks.”

“All done,” Kevin said, entering the bedroom. Lara went into the bathroom and closed the door. AJ eyed him critically.

“Sorry, Train, don’t have anything to fit those long legs.”

“No problem. I’ve slept in jeans before.” He pulled off his shirt and AJ watched the muscles of his chest and abs ripple.

“Very nice,” he said approvingly. Kevin glared.

“Back off, freak. I’m not into that.” Kevin honestly believed what he was saying. He WASN’T into it except regarding Nick…was he?

“Whatever. Just admiring the view.” AJ stripped down to his boxers. He had no shame, and he figured Lara had seen enough of Nick that she wouldn’t be too embarrassed if something suddenly fell out of its little hiding place. He flopped onto the king-sized waterbed and fluffed the six pillows so they were leaning against the headboard. Lara soon appeared, looking very cute in AJ’s big tshirt and shorts. “C’mere, girlie.” AJ leaned against the headboard and patted the spot next to him. Lara carefully crawled onto the bed, moaning as it gently swayed and rocked.

“I hate this fucking thing,” she snapped.

“Don’t sleep here, then,” AJ told her. “Come on, Kev. Room for all.”

Kevin laid down next to Lara on the other side. AJ held her hand, but it was Kevin’s shoulder she snuggled onto. She began to sniff and the tears soon fell once more. “What is it?” Kevin asked gently, squirming slightly as Lara’s tears tickled his chest.

“Nick,” she sobbed.

“Obviously,” AJ said, rolling his eyes. Kevin glared at him.

“Tell us, sweetie.”

“I can’t,” Lara said. “It’s too embarrassing.”

“Nothing is that embarrassing,” AJ said cheerfully. “Look at me. NOTHING embarrasses me.”

“That’s because you’re a freak,” Kevin growled. AJ gave him the finger. “You only wish, Aje.”

“That I do, Kev, that I do. What I couldn’t do with that ass of yours.”

“Will you knock it the fuck off? This isn’t about you and your freak ways!” Kevin yelled. Lara moaned and put her hands over her ears. “You can’t handle it when you’re not the center of attention, can you?”

“At least I don’t mope around on the outside of the center of attention, waiting for someone to notice me!” AJ yelled back.

“Stop it! Stop it, please! I’ve had enough fighting and screaming for tonight!” Lara begged. The men were immediately apologetic. They had forgotten she was even there.

“I’m sorry, honey,” AJ said, leaning over to kiss her cheek.

“Me, too,” Kevin said, giving her shoulder a squeeze. “Now tell us what happened. We won’t laugh and we won’t say anything.” AJ nodded agreement.

Lara sat up slightly and began to play with the satin sheet. “Well…me and Nick…you know we’ve been together a while. It’s been like, what, over a year now…and things just aren’t working out. I thought I could handle it, but I just can’t.”

AJ stared at her. “Not working out? You two are like peas in a pod…you’re together all the time…you’re in love, but you guys are…”

“What, best friends?” Lara’s blue eyes were sad. “Yes, we are. And that’s all. I thought I could play the part. I could pretend in my head that it was all good…but I can’t pretend anymore.”

“Lara, you and Nick are the perfect couple. What’s missing?” Kevin asked gently.

“Sex,” Lara blurted, and the mouths of both men fell open.

“Lara…I…you…I watched you on the dance floor. You were in each other’s pants!” AJ exclaimed.

“That was the dance floor. He’s a better dancer than you think, Alex,” Lara said softly. Tears fell and she ignored them. “We had sex…once…”

“ONCE?” AJ and Kevin said together. She nodded slowly.

“He said he wanted his first time to be with me…wanted it to be with a friend in case it didn’t go well. It DID go well…was fantastic…but it wasn’t enough to change his mind.” Lara looked from Kevin to AJ, then back at the sheet. “Nick’s gay.”


	5. Chapter 5

CONFLICT OF INTEREST  
Five

 

Kevin and AJ stared at each other. Then they stared at Lara. “Sweetie, I think I have Jack Daniels up to my ears, because I SWEAR you just said that Nick was gay,” AJ said softly. Lara nodded morosely.

“That’s right.”

“No. No way.” Kevin shook his head violently, ignoring the dizziness that ensued. “He’s NOT gay.”

“Kev’s right, Lara. I mean, number one, he turned ME down, and no gay guy has EVER done that,” AJ told her. Kevin glared at him.

“Too much information, Aje, not to mention just egotistical and rude.”

AJ ignored him. “Number two, I just…I mean, when we were out, we talked about it and he said he’s never had anal sex before. I mean, he’s given but he’s never received.”

Lara looked at him sadly. “Exactly. He’s given it to a few girls, but he’s never fucked a guy before. But he wants to. And it’s all he wants. He’s not interested in women as anything more than friends…or someone to cover it up for him.”

Kevin put an arm around her and pulled her close. “Why does he need to cover it up? I mean, look at AJ. Everyone knows he goes both ways…”

“But he’s not GOING both ways, Kev. He wants to find a guy to have a relationship with,” Lara told him. “He’s the sweet baby of the Backstreet Boys. Can you imagine what this would do to your image? To his image? He needed a girlfriend to cover for him…and that has been me.” She wiped away her tears and tried not to get too angry. “At the beginning, he was seriously trying. He really felt he could have a straight relationship, and he wanted it to be with me. We were already good friends, and that friendship just got stronger…and eventually it was strong enough for him to tell me the truth.” Lara heaved a huge sigh. “And to give him credit, it was MY idea to cover for him. I wanted to be with him no matter what…so I said I’d go along with the lie. Nick was perfectly willing to just be single, and look for someone in secret.” Lara looked at AJ for a long moment, then Kevin. “And to be honest, I think he may have found someone. Except for tonight, and that night he and AJ went out, he’s been very peaceful and happy. Happier than I’ve seen him for a while.” She began to sob. “I love him so much…but I want him to be happy.”

“Oh, sweetheart,” Kevin whispered, rocking her in his arms as she cried. His eyes met AJ’s, and he inwardly growled at the odd gleam in his friend’s dark eyes. “Sweetie, why don’t we get you tucked into bed in the guestroom? This waterbed is no good for you. Say goodnight to AJ.”

“Good night, Alex,” Lara said obediently, tired and drunk and sick of thinking about the soap opera her life had become.

“Good night, girlie. Sweet dreams.” AJ gave her a hug and Kevin walked Lara off to bed.

AJ stared the door as they went through it. Gay. Nick was gay. Gay and totally available for the taking. He still couldn’t believe that Nick had turned him down. Turned HIM down. Him…AJ…the one who could really show him what sex with a man was all about. That fact alone was enough to almost make him sober. AJ leaned back against the pillows and grinned. He cared for Lara, and felt bad that she was so sad, but this was a whole different ballgame now. AJ had been looking for someone as well, though no one knew it. He wasn’t sure if it was going to be a woman or a man, but he wanted someone to share the serious times with as well as play with in bed. He sat deep in thought, his mind totally focused on Nick.

 

Kevin got Lara tucked into bed. She smiled up at him, her blue eyes red from crying. “Thank you, Kevin. Thank you for not laughing at me.”

“Lara, why would I laugh at you. It’s not funny.”

“No, it’s not. But I feel so dumb. I love him, Kevin, and I let him walk all over me in this. That’s why I didn’t want him to go out with Alex the other night. I know Alex’s tendencies, and I was afraid he’d drag him to some bar and hook him up with someone.” She sighed. “As long as he doesn’t find someone, I still have hope.”

“Maybe that’s not a good idea,” Kevin suggested gently.

“I know, but what are my alternatives? There’s no one else I want.”

“I’ll find you someone,” Kevin promised. “How about Howie?”

Lara scrunched up her nose. “Howie’s sweet, but not my type.” She snuggled down under the covers. “I’ll work my way out of this somehow, Kevin. You don’t have to be a matchmaker for me.”

“Maybe I want to,” he said, kissing her nose. “Good night, Lara.”

“Night, Kevin.”

Kevin left the room, closing the door behind him. He leaned against the wall in the hallway, feeling the tension tighten his muscles. He was being nice to Lara for all the wrong reasons. He did care about her, did want to find her someone…but only because of the insane feelings he had been having about the man she loved. And he knew why she loved him. Nick was wonderful. Nick was handsome. Nick was sexy. And Nick was gay. Speaking of which…

 

“AJ, don’t even think about it.” Kevin marched into AJ’s room and shut the door behind him.

“Think about what?” AJ’s face was pure innocence.

“Jumping all over Nick. You leave him alone.”

“Number one, Kevin, you are NOT the boss of me,” AJ pointed out, sounding very juvenile. “Number two, it’s none of your business.” He got up and began to pace. “He said no to me tonight…I thought at first he wasn’t interested in what I was offering…now I know he WAS, but couldn’t say yes…I’ll have to change my tactics…be more subtle.” AJ chuckled. “Me…subtle…I THINK I can pull it off.”

A shove from Kevin startled him. “AJ, down the hall from this room is a young woman crying her eyes out because the man she loves doesn’t want her. Have you no compassion?” Kevin ignored how hypocritical he sounded.

“I have TONS of compassion, Kev. Better Nick hook up with someone Lara knows and already likes than some stranger. Besides, you heard her. He already wants someone…and maybe it’s me.” AJ smiled. “Kevin, you should be happy. This opens the door for you.”

“What do you mean?” Kevin asked guardedly.

“Lara. She’s all yours now.”

“I don’t WANT Lara,” Kevin said, exasperated. “She’s just a friend.”

“Yeah, okay, sure, whatever. Just keep her away from Nick. Sounds like he still MIGHT lean the other way…and I want him.”

“AJ, you’re insane,” Kevin said, shaking his head. “I’m gonna go sleep on the sofa. Good night.”

“Night, Kev,” AJ said absentmindedly. Kevin knew his mind was reeling with ideas on how to seduce Nick.

Kevin slowly made his way down to the living room. He flopped onto the sofa, very not tired. His mind was also focused on Nick. Nick had never really had a relationship with a man. Either had Kevin. Maybe…just maybe…when the time was right…he could convince Nick that they needed each other.


	6. Chapter 6

CONFLICT OF INTEREST  
Six

 

When Kevin woke up at ten the next morning, Lara was already gone. AJ was still snoring away, so he got himself together and tiptoed out of AJ’s large house. Kevin headed for Nick’s. He was still confused as hell, but he was honestly worried about Lara. He felt sorry for her. He remembered how hard his split with Kristin had been, with so many lies and untold truths coming to the surface when it was way too late for anything to be done about them. He wondered if Lara would continue to stay with Nick and allow her heart to be continually broken, or if she would make a clean break of things.

Kevin sat outside Nick’s house for almost twenty minutes, staring at the large front gates. All he had to do was go push the intercom. He had always been welcome here, by both Lara and Nick. Nick was his little brother and he loved him that way first and foremost. It was the other way that was worrying him. Lara might be nervous around him, now that he knew their secret. However, she didn’t think she had anything to fear from Kevin. AJ, maybe, but not Kevin. She had no idea Kevin wanted the man she loved. Kevin groaned and smacked his head against the steering wheel a few times. He sighed. Being at this house was not what he needed right now. He put the car into drive and headed for his own home.

 

Nick stumbled out of his room at noon. He was smacking his lips, cursing alcohol and morning cottonmouth. He stopped short as he saw Lara on the floor of the living room, going through some videos and placing them in a box. “Hey,” he said softly. She didn’t look up.

“Hey.”

“Look, Lara, I’m sorry about last night. I was drunk and bitchy and an all-around asshole.”

“Um, yeah, that sounds like you last night.” Lara finished with the videos and went over to the CD rack. “Did you buy this Monster Ballads CD or did I?”

“Um…I did. I gave it to you for Valentine’s last year,” Nick replied.

“Oh, yeah, right. Well…you listen to it more than me. You can have it.”

“Lara, what are you doing?” Nick sat on the edge of the sofa. He gasped as he saw a tear drop onto the CD Lara was holding.

“I’m leaving, Nick.” Lara looked up at him. Tears dropped from her blue eyes, eyes that were puffy and bloodshot. “I’ve done a lot of thinking and I need to go. I called around when I got back from AJ’s this morning, and I found a tiny place in town. I’m gonna pack as much as I can and go over today.”

“You’re leaving?” Nick sank to the floor and sat beside her. “You can’t leave, Lara. I need you. I need you to…”

“To what? Be your cover? Be the closet you keep hiding in?” Lara said coldly. “Sorry, Nick. You’ve run over my heart with football cleats too many times. I can’t do this anymore. Just tell everyone that it’s all my fault. I broke it off.”

“I wasn’t gonna say that, Lara. I was gonna say I need you to take care of me,” Nick told her.   
“You’re twenty-one now…it’s about time you learn to take care of yourself…and also time you learned to be honest with yourself and everyone else.” She stopped packing and looked at him. “How in the world are you ever gonna find this person you’re looking for if you don’t let him know you’re looking?”

 

“Hello?” Kevin mumbled half into his pillow. “What time is it?”

“Two-thirty. Did I wake you?”

“Nick?” Kevin sat up suddenly. “No…just dozed off. What’s up?”

“You wouldn’t wanna play basketball, would you?”

“Me?” Kevin was amazed.

“Yeah, you. Don’t get offended but you’re my last choice. Brian’s not home, Howie doesn’t do basketball and AJ is too easy to beat. I need to get out on the court…and…I just don’t wanna do it alone.”

“Um, sure, Nick, of course. Gimme time to get up and ready?”

“Take your time. I’ll come get you. I need to drop something at Howie’s and then I’ll be over. Thanks, Kevin.”

“No problem, Nick. See you soon.” Kevin hung up and stared at the phone for a moment, then went to take a shower.

 

“Sorry it took so long,” Nick said an hour later when he arrived at Kevin’s. Kevin was out front, sitting on the front sidewalk. “Howie wanted to talk about some things.”

“Hey, no problem. It’s a nice day so I thought I’d soak it up,” Kevin said, getting to his feet. He grabbed the small gym bag that carried his wallet, a towel and a water bottle. “Where we playing?”

“I thought that park down by the river,” Nick suggested.

“That’s fine. You know best, after all.” Kevin climbed into the passenger side of Nick’s car and Nick sped out of the parking lot.

It only took a short time to arrive at the park Nick had mentioned. It was a school day, so there were no kids and very few adults in the park. Nick had brought two basketballs so they could both warm up, and then Kevin eventually tossed his to the grass. Nick was obviously the better player, but because of his matching height Kevin was a good opponent. Kevin was initially only able to concentrate on the feeling of Nick’s sweaty body pressed against his as they tried to block each other’s shots, but he soon fell into the game, concentrating on the basket alone.

“Okay, let’s call it a draw,” Nick panted, flopping onto the ground and grabbing for his water.

“Deal,” Kevin agreed, sitting next to him and toweling off his face. He guzzled his own water. “Thanks for asking me. I needed this…needed something to…” he groped for a word.

“Take your mind off things?” Nick suggested. Kevin slowly nodded.

“Yes.”

“Me too.” Nick leaned back and closed his eyes, letting the sun bake his face. “Lara is moving out,” he said, his eyes remaining closed. Kevin stared at him.

“What did you say?”

“Lara’s moving out. As we speak. Another reason for me to get out of the house.” Nick squinted against the sun. “She’s leaving me.”

“Nick, I…I…man, I’m sorry.” Kevin couldn’t form a sentence. His mind raced. He was sorry for Lara, sorry for Nick (who was obviously hurting), but at the same time felt an elated spark run from his hair to his toes. “What…why…”

“Just growing apart, I guess,” Nick mumbled, playing with some grass near his feet as he sat up. “Not interested in the same things.”

Kevin realized all the hidden meaning behind the statement but said nothing. “I’m sorry, Nick. Really.”

“Me too. She’s my best friend…and I don’t know if we can keep that friendship.” Nick’s eyes were sad. “I’m hoping she finds someone else. Someone better than me…someone who is right for her in all the ways I can’t be.”

Kevin placed a hand on Nick’s bare shoulder. “You deserve someone like that too, Nick. Maybe you’ll find them now.”

“Thanks, Kev.” Nick put his own hand over Kevin’s for a second, and Kevin forgot to breathe. Nick stood up. “I’m looking…and who knows? I may have already found them.” Nick slung his bag up onto his shoulder. “Let’s go. We’ll clean up at your place and I’ll buy you a late lunch.”


	7. Chapter 7

CONFLICT OF INTEREST  
Seven

 

“Nick, dude, you gotta go out with me tonight.”

“Hello to you, too, AJ,” Nick said as he answered his cordless phone. He was in the hall closet, trying to rearrange things. The place looked completely empty with Lara gone, and Nick was doing everything he could to spread out and fill the void she had left. She had only been gone a few days, but he felt her absence keenly. He hadn’t talked to her at all, and he was miserable. This was his best friend. He knew that they could never have a relationship the way she wanted, and he hated the fact that he had hurt her, but he missed her. He knew that it was time for him to come clean about his true feelings, about the relationship he really wanted to have, but he was too chicken to do it. “Why do I GOTTA go out with you?”

“Nick, I found the HOTTEST new club. We need to go. It’s slamming. I drove by the other night and there were SO many hotties outside waiting to get in.”

“What kind of hotties? How short were the skirts this time, Aje?” Nick asked with a chuckle.

“Short. And the men weren’t too bad, either.”

Nick sighed. He wasn’t ready to have this kind of conversation. AJ didn’t know, but every time he mentioned picking up a guy, Nick’s heart took a weird dive. He wanted to try, but he was so afraid. Plus there was the fact that he wasn’t really looking for a random fuck. “I dunno, AJ. I have stuff to do here and…”

“Nick, it has been a week since she left. You need to get the hell over it and come out with me, dammit!” AJ almost screamed. “We’re all worried about you. Me…Kevin…you’re turning into a hermit.”

“I’m sorry,” Nick said, running his fingers through his hair. “I know you’re just calling me to get me out of the house, and I appreciate it. What time should I come get you?”

“I’LL provide the transportation tonight. See you around nine,” AJ said, smirking as he hung up the phone.

 

“A limo?” Nick couldn’t help but laugh at the stretch black limousine in front of his house. “I thought we tried to go undercover during time off.”

“Not tonight. I plan on getting good and fucked up tonight, and I think you should, too. Get that sweet ghetto booty in here.” AJ slapped the seat. Nick sighed and got in. “My my my, Nicky, looking VERY nice,” AJ said, looking Nick over. Black dress pants slimmed the long legs, and the multi-colored silk shirt made Nick’s hair look blond and shiny. “I’d do you.”

“You’d do anyone, AJ,” Nick said, blushing slightly at the intense looks AJ was giving him.

“I have a BIT more taste than that, thank you,” AJ said. “And you DO look tasty.”

“Save the flirting for the club, Aje,” Nick said, reaching over to the bar. “Wanna start now?”

“Gladly,” AJ agreed, filling two glasses with ice.

 

They had no problem skipping past the long line in front of the new club. They wove their way through the crowd and stood in line at the bar. “You’re right…this place is awesome!” Nick yelled over the music.

“Of COURSE I was right, silly.” AJ’s dark eyes flitted over the crowd. “Hey! There’s Howie!”

Nick’s eyes followed where AJ pointed. “Yeah. Yeah it is.” They both watched Howie grind between two beautiful women. “Probably here checking out the competition,” Nick commented.

“Checking out something,” AJ said, then chuckled. “Here. First two are on me.” He handed Nick two mixed drinks and grabbed two of his own.

“What are these?” Nick stared at them doubtfully.

“Just drink them. The more you drink the braver you get.” AJ tossed down one of his own drinks. “Trust me.”

 

Two hours later a drunk Nick and AJ were out on the crowded dance floor. Nick had a beautiful brunette grinding in front of him, while AJ was dancing at a polite distance with a good-looking redheaded man. Nick kept looking over at them jealously. He wanted to be like that. He wanted to have the courage to be the man he knew he really was.

“Poor Nicky. Getting lonely?” AJ asked sympathetically. He grooved his way over to Nick and took his place in front of Nick, between him and the girl he had been dancing with. She pouted and turned away. Nick watched her leave.

“That was rude.”

“I wanted to dance with you.” AJ grinded up against Nick suggestively. “I like them tall…and I’m MUCH better than she is.”

“Better at what, Aje?” Nick asked, laughing. AJ pressed himself up against Nick and stopped dancing.

“Everything.”

Nick looked down into his friend’s dark eyes. He swayed on his feet, suddenly tired and very dizzy. “I want to leave.”

“Nick, it’s barely after eleven. You should…”

“I’m leaving.” Nick turned and started to weave through the crowd, apologizing over his shoulder as he knocked into people.

“Hey, Nick.” Nick turned to see Howie beside him. “Who are you here with?”

“AJ,” Nick replied, and continued on.

“AJ?” He heard Howie repeat. He ignored him and kept going.

Nick gasped for breath as he walked out the front door. The heat inside the club gave way to the coolness of the evening. Nick looked around wildly for the limo, not sure where it had parked. “Fuck it. I’ll walk until I get a taxi.”

Nick began to wander down the sidewalk, too drunk to notice the way he zigzagged from side to side. “Nick. Nicky, dammit, get your ass into this limo!” AJ shouted from the street. Nick turned to see the limo slowly crawling down the street.

“No. I’m walking.”

“No you’re not, you dumb fuck. You’re stumbling. Don’t make me get out of here and pull you in, because I can’t walk much better than you can.”

“Whatever,” Nick sighed. He stopped walking and AJ opened the door. “Take me home.”

“Of course.” AJ gave the driver directions to Nick’s house. “I’m sorry you didn’t have a good time.”

“I did. I had a great time.” Nick let his head fall back against the seat. AJ reached over and lightly caressed his face, then began to stroke his forehead. He moved over on the seat to have better access to Nick’s face. One hand stroked Nick’s forehead while the other lightly rested on Nick’s knee. “Mmm…that feels good.”

“Good.” AJ didn’t speak for a moment, and when he did, his voice was a husky whisper. “I like that I can make you feel good.” Nick’s blue eyes opened and focused on AJ. “I can make you feel so good…better than you’ve ever felt before.”

“You said that the other night.”

“I mean it.” AJ’s hand slid up to Nick’s thigh as his other hand moved down to trace Nick’s red lips. “I really want you, Nick. I want to show you…want to show you how good it can be.”

Nick licked his lips unconsciously and his tongue came in contact with AJ’s fingertip. He whimpered and moved away from AJ’s hand. “I can’t…Aje…I don’t want to.”

“I know you do. I can tell,” AJ said, deciding not to tell him that he knew the truth and just how he knew it. AJ’s hand slid up his thigh a few inches more. “I can be so much for you, Nick, if you’ll let me.”

“We’re here, gentlemen.”

Nick sighed with relief as he saw his familiar safe house on the other side of the window. “I have to go. Thanks for asking me out with you, Aje. Night.” He jumped out of the car and hurried as best he could into the house.

“Fuck.” AJ slammed his fist into the seat, and told the driver to continue to his house.


	8. Chapter 8

CONFLICT OF INTEREST  
Eight

 

The next couple of weeks were agony for Kevin. He was helping Lara move into the new apartment while at the same time trying to spend time with Nick. It was hard no matter who he was with, but it was a hell of a lot better than being alone. When he was alone he thought too much.

“There. That should do it.” Kevin carefully stood the bookcase up correctly. “It looks straight.”

“Of course it’s straight. You’re a miracle worker when it comes to working with your hands.” Lara took Kevin’s hands in her smaller ones. “Thank you, Kevin.” She stood on tiptoe and kissed his cheek. He looked at her, amazed.

“For what?”

“For this. For hanging out with me, helping me get settled, everything. I know how hard it is for you to be around me.”

“Well, Nick told us that he doesn’t mind if we’re friends with you. I mean, not that he can tell us what to do or anything…” Kevin realized he was babbling. Lara smiled at him.

“Sit down with me.” She took his hand and led him to the sofa. As soon as he was seated next to her, she leaned across his body and gave him a soft tender kiss on the lips. Kevin pulled away, shocked. “How did that make you feel?”

“Um…well…I don’t…” Kevin stammered. The intimate contact was nice; it had been so long. He liked Lara, but it just was weird.

“Don’t worry.” Lara half-chuckled at the look on his face. “You didn’t feel anything, did you? I could throw myself at you right now and you’d politely say no, and it’s not because you don’t like me as a person, or even that you’re not attracted to me.” Her blue eyes were unyielding as they studied his face. “The problem is, you’re in love with the same person I am.”

“I’m WHAT?” Kevin jumped to his feet and began to pace. “No. No way. I’m not in love with Nick. Are you crazy?”

“Apparently not,” she said softly. “What’s not to love, Kevin? He’s great. And you know he’s gay.”

“But I didn’t know when I started feeling this way!” Kevin blurted out. He stopped pacing and looked at her. “I don’t know WHAT I want. I’ve never been involved with a man…I don’t know what to do.”

“From what I hear, the feelings and emotions are all the same, Kevin, just go with them.” Lara pulled him back to the sofa. “I bet you’re confused. And it’s hurt me, to be honest. I know you’re torn, wanting to be my friend but feeling like you’re in the middle. I’ll get over Nick, I know I will. But you need to make the first move…let him know you’re interested.”

“I can’t. I can’t let him know…can’t admit it to myself,” Kevin mumbled. She smiled.

“What’s stopping you?”

“I just can’t. It’s not me. Not how I was brought up to be!” Kevin said angrily. He got to his feet once more. “And there’s one other thing…”

“What?”

“AJ.”

 

“No, Nick, really. I swear. It’s cool.” AJ struggled with the phone as he tied his shoes. “I’m gonna grab Kevin and then we’ll be over. No…are you sure? You don’t want us to bring anything? That place was pretty damn empty the last time I was there…okay…yes, I believe you. I’m sure you have MANY talents we don’t know about.” AJ chuckled. “Yeah, okay. Later.” He hung up the phone and tossed it onto the bed. He held one shoe in his hand and stared into thin air. It had been four days since the disastrous night he had attempted to seduce Nick, and nothing had been said about it by either of them. They had hung out once or twice during the day, but AJ had made no more advances. Nick had been pretty drunk, so AJ was hoping he didn’t remember much. AJ remembered it all, much to his chagrin. He had never failed so entirely at something he wanted so bad. He wondered if the subtle approach might not be better. He chuckled again. He didn’t know the meaning of the word subtle.

AJ jumped into his car and sped off for Lara’s apartment. Kevin spent most of his time there, and AJ wondered if something wasn’t going on there. He hoped there was; the more time Kevin spent with Lara, the less time Kevin would spend telling him to stay away from Nick. And that was the speech he got from Kevin every time he talked to him.

AJ parked in front of Lara’s apartment building and bounced up the steps. He rang the bell and tapped his foot to an imaginary song as he waited. “Hey!” He swept Lara into a big hug and dipped her back.

“Hi, Alex,” she giggled.

“These are for you.” AJ handed her three long-stemmed white roses and she squealed.

“My favorite. Thanks, Alex.” She headed off for the kitchen.

“Ready?” AJ asked Kevin. Kevin sighed and got up from the sofa. They were headed to Nick’s to work on some new songs for the next CD. “You okay, Train?”

“Yeah. A lot on my mind,” Kevin replied. Lara came back into the room and hugged him.

“Will you be okay?” Lara dipped her head back to look into Kevin’s green eyes. “I’m worried.”

“I’ll figure it out sooner or later. Maybe become a priest.”

Lara laughed and gave him another hug. “They don’t let your kind in.”

He smacked her ass and she laughed again. “I’ll call you,” Kevin told her.

“Okay. Bye, Kev. Bye, Aje.”

“Bye, Lara.” AJ whistled as he trotted out to his car. He started the engine as Kevin buckled himself in. “You two are so cute.”

“Shut up, AJ,” Kevin growled.

“You are. You seem so…”

“AJ, for the last FUCKING time, there is nothing going on between Lara and I! That is it, okay? The END!”

“God…sorry…I just thought…”

“You thought WRONG okay? We are not interested in each other, we are not attracted to each other. I’m not what she wants and she is DEFINITELY not what I want,” Kevin said before he thought.

“Fuck, Kevin, okay, I’m sorry!” AJ snapped, wondering where this attitude had come from. He flew down the highway and broke all kinds of traffic laws as he hurried to Nick’s.

Kevin slammed the car door as he got out. He momentarily froze as he saw Nick come out the door to get the mail. “Hey, guys,” Nick said, squinting against the bright sunlight. He wore a white wifebeater and a baggy pair of dark green Nike basketball shorts.

“Hey, Nick,” Kevin said almost shyly. He couldn’t take his eyes from Nick. The sun seemed to make his hair gleam like gold, and his tan skin was heightened by the white of his tank top. Kevin knew that when Nick wore these particular shorts, he more often then not went freestyle underneath, and that particular thought made Kevin’s dick start to harden. He nonchalantly leaned across the top of AJ’s car, willing his disobedient body to behave. “How ya doin?”

“Good,” Nick said, smiling as he reached into the mailbox. “I swear, all I get is bills.”

“Don’t we all. Junior, you’re too young to have bills like this.” AJ swiped the envelopes from Nick’s hands and began to paw through them. Nick blushed and grabbed them back.

“Don’t touch my mail, AJ, okay?” Nick glared at AJ and headed back into the house.

“Jeez…what did I…” AJ began, looking at Kevin. He did a double-take as he watched Kevin watch Nick. A slow smile crept over his face as he said, “Let’s go in.”

 

“Hey, guys,” Brian said as Kevin and AJ walked into the small music room Nick had specially built onto the house. Howie was fiddling with the piano.

“Hi, Bri,” Kevin said, sitting on a chair and staring at his shoes. The reactions he was having to Nick were really beginning to scare him.

“Anyone want a drink or something?” Nick asked. The guys yelled out various sodas and drinks, and he hurried off to the kitchen. AJ quickly shut the door and locked it.

“What the hell, Aje?” Howie asked.

“I need to ask Kev something and I can’t have Nicky hearing it.” AJ pulled a chair up in front of Kevin. “How long you been feeling this way, Train?”

“What are you talking about, Bone?” Kevin snapped.

“How long you been looking to ball Nick?”

Howie and Brian gasped. “AJ, what the hell are you talking about?” Kevin said, trying to keep his voice from shaking.

“You looked at him like he was water and you were a man stranded in the desert,” AJ said, unable to keep from smiling. This was all too good. “You preach and preach about me taking him away from Lara, about me backing off and letting him find things out on his own…and all along you want him for yourself. Ever since Lara told us the truth.” He eyed Kevin up and down. “Didn’t know you had it in you.”

“AJ, you are so full of shit,” Kevin growled. He was beginning to sweat.

“Will SOMEONE tell me what the FUCK is going on?” Brian almost screamed. Everyone looked at him. Howie looked back and forth from Brian to AJ to Kevin, as if he were watching a tennis match.

“AJ, don’t,” Kevin warned. AJ ignored him.

“Ya see, Rok, it’s like this. At my party, Lara told us that Nick is gay. He’s not into girls, he’s into guys, but he doesn’t know quite what to do about it. So, of course, I took one look at that sweet ghetto booty of his, as well as the rest of him, and decided to try and see if he’d let me teach him. All along, Mr. Richardson here has been talking shit about how it’s wrong, and Nick is just a kid, and we need to let him decide things on his own bleh bleh bleh…and now I find that KEVIN wants him just as bad as I do.” AJ smiled triumphantly. “Tell me I’m wrong, Kev.”

“Kevin,” Brian said softly. “Is this true?”

Kevin opened his mouth to lie, then shut it. “I don’t know,” he said finally. AJ cackled with glee.

“Am I the ONLY straight person in this room?” Brian all but screamed. Everyone looked at Howie. “Oh, sorry, D.” Howie smiled but said nothing. He was busy observing. “You guys…I don’t believe this…Kevin, you were married, for God’s sake!”

“Means nothing, you know that,” AJ said. They all jumped as the door rattled.

“Guys? What the hell? This is locked. C’mon, guys…my hands are full!” Nick whined.

AJ put a hand on Kevin’s chest and slowly pushed him against the wall. “Look, you tall dark and gorgeous friend of mine…don’t think your little speeches are gonna stop me now. I can please Nick more than you EVER could…and I plan on pleasing him in every way I can think of…so just stay out of my way, got it?”

“Got it,” Kevin said, slowly pushing AJ back. He turned AJ so HIS back hit the wall. “But don’t underestimate me. I’ve got some plans of my own.”


	9. Chapter 9

CONFLICT OF INTEREST  
Nine

 

“I swear, Kevin, you’re getting really good,” Nick panted as he unlocked his front door. He and Kevin practically passed out in the living room. They had been playing basketball in the hot sun for over an hour and a half, and they were both exhausted. It had become a daily ritual. Nick would call Kevin around eleven, come get him, and they’d play ball. They came back to Nick’s place, showered and changed, and then they’d go out for lunch. “You may soon be able to kick my ass.”

“I already can kick your ass. I’m just holding back,” Kevin replied with his eyes closed. Nick chuckled.

“Yeah, whatever.” Nick groaned. “I SO don’t want to even get up. I need a shower though…I’m nasty.”

“I think you look fine,” Kevin said bravely, watching a trickle of sweat work its way down Nick’s bare chest. Nick opened one eye.

“Well, thank you, Kevin. I appreciate that. You gonna ask me out on a date next, after such a sweet compliment?” Nick teased.

“Well…” Kevin took a deep breath. “I WAS gonna ask if you wanted to skip lunch and just do dinner tonight. I don’t have plans, and I hate sitting at home alone.”

Apology filled Nick’s blue eyes. “Aw, Kev, I’m sorry. I already have plans with AJ tonight. We’re gonna go see a movie and then grab a bite after.” He thought for a moment. “Would you like to come along? I’m sure AJ wouldn’t mind.”

The hell he wouldn’t, Kevin thought. “Nah, I don’t want to be a third wheel. Another time.” He stood. “I’m gonna hit the shower.”

“Use the one in my room. I’ll use the guestroom one this time.” Nick remained on the floor. Kevin plodded up the steps, more tired than ever.

 

Kevin stepped out of the shower, quickly dried off, then started back into Nick’s bedroom where he had left a clean change of clothes. He was toweling his hair when Nick walked into the room. Kevin jumped a mile, suddenly very aware of his nakedness.

“I’m sorry, Kev, I didn’t mean to scare you. I just forgot to get a pair of…” Nick’s voice trailed off as he too became aware of Kevin’s naked body. Nick’s eyes trailed across Kevin’s torso and midsection before he could stop himself. “I forgot to…uh…get shorts.” He reached into a drawer and blindly grabbed a pair of shorts. “Sorry to burst in on you.”

“No problem, Nick. It’s your room,” Kevin said with a friendly smile. Nick hurried out of the room. Kevin sat on the bed, towel in hand. He couldn’t keep a grin from crossing his face. Nick had definitely been checking him out…and he knew Nick had liked what he saw.

 

“So, what did you do today?” AJ asked as they munched on popcorn and waited for the movie to begin. “I shopped.”

“Big surprise,” Nick said with a grin. “I played basketball with Kevin.”

“AGAIN?”

“We do it every day.” Nick shrugged. “It’s good exercise, he’s a worthy opponent, and I think he needs it…he’s been so down lately. You notice that?”

“Kinda,” AJ said. An evil grin flickered across his face but Nick didn’t see it. “Actually, I think I know what the problem is.”

“Really?” Nick’s blue eyes were curious.

“Yeah.” AJ took a deep breath. “Did you know he’s been spending a lot of time with Lara?”

“Kinda…I know he helped her get settled in her new place. I haven’t talked to her much,” Nick said sadly.

“I think he maybe is into her…you know…and feels weird about it. He knows how she feels about you, and doesn’t want it to be weird with you because of her.”

“Oh…” Nick nodded understandingly. “They’d be so good together. She needs someone like him. I can understand why he thinks it would be weird, though…like getting her on the rebound or something.”

“Exactly,” AJ agreed. “So he’s confused and down. But I really think they could work it out and become something. I think she is just what he needs.”

“Me too,” Nick said. “I’ll have to find a way to get them together.”

“You’re a good friend,” AJ said with an approving smile as the lights went down in the movie theater. As the room darkened, AJ gave himself a mental pat on the back, knocking off the little devil that was sitting on his shoulder.

AJ tried to pay attention to the movie, but he was too aware of the handsome man by his side. He wished that Nick was officially “out”, that way he could hold his hand or squeeze his leg or do the old “arm across the back of the seat” trick or SOMETHING. He decided that he NEEDED to be touching him in some way. He needed to let Nick know he was interested in a subtle way. AJ slowly turned his body and placed an elbow on the back of Nick’s chair. He leaned his head on his hand. Nick turned to look at him, but AJ’s eyes were focused on the screen. AJ mentally smiled. This way he was pretty much ear to ear with Nick, but it didn’t look intentional. AJ closed his eyes and inhaled. He could smell the light scent of Nick’s cologne and it made his dick harden immediately. AJ groaned. Not now.

“You okay?” Nick whispered.

AJ nodded. “Cramp.” He quickly turned his neck this way and that to work out the imaginary cramp. Nick reached up and without a word began to massage the back of AJ’s neck. AJ swallowed a whimper. This wasn’t in his plan but he sure as hell didn’t mind.

“The movie will be over soon and then we can walk for a bit and stretch,” Nick whispered. AJ nodded, saying nothing.

 

“So, you wanna go out tomorrow night?” AJ asked Nick at dinner. Nick thought for a moment.

“Where’d you have in mind?”

“The place we went last time,” AJ said carefully. “You know, the semi-gay bar.”

Nick laughed. “Semi-gay. Cute.” He scratched his head. “I’m embarrassed to say that I don’t remember much from the last time, except actually arriving there.”

“Really?” AJ asked, thanking his lucky stars. Nick didn’t remember the failed come-on.

“Nope. We could go again. Hey, think we can talk the others into going?”

“The others? Oh. Brian, probably not. Howie, he’d probably go.” AJ smiled broadly. “And I’m sure we’d have NO problem getting Kevin to come along. I’ll call everyone tomorrow.”


	10. Chapter 10

CONFLICT OF INTEREST  
Ten

 

“Okay, maybe this won’t be too bad,” Howie said as they walked into the club. Bass pounded and men and women grooved on the dance floor.

“Howie, what are you afraid of? Afraid some hot guy is gonna grab you and drag you off for a quick fuck?” AJ said, amused.

“That’s Howie’s nightmare and YOUR dream, AJ,” Kevin said with a teasing smile. AJ arched an eyebrow and gave him the finger. “Drinks or dancing?”

“Both.” AJ snapped his fingers and a handsome waiter came over. “Hey, Mike, we need drinks here.”

“Sure thing, AJ. What do you guys want?” The friends gave their orders and Mike sauntered off.

“AJ knows the waiters by name. How convenient,” Kevin remarked. Howie chuckled and Nick smiled.

“Yes, I know you’re jealous, Kevin, but if you follow my lead I’m sure you’ll get what you want…after I have it first, of course,” AJ said with a smile. “I’m hitting the floor. Grab my drink for me, will you, Nick?” AJ went out to the dance floor, followed by Howie.

Kevin and Nick waited for the waiter to return. “You and AJ fight about something?” Nick asked suddenly.

“No, why?” Kevin asked, surprised.

“You just seem to be all over his shit tonight, that’s all. You okay?”

“I’m fine, Nick, thanks. Just lonely lately…maybe I’m taking it out on AJ. He’s never lonely, never sad, always gets what he wants.” Kevin gratefully grabbed his drink from the waiter.

“But Kevin, you could have what you want.” Nick’s eyes were intense as he looked at Kevin. “All you have to do is ask. It would be so easy.”

“What?” Kevin almost squeaked. Nick placed a hand on Kevin’s shoulder and Kevin knew Nick could feel him shaking.

“Just ask, Kevin, and I bet it would all work out.” Nick moved closer so Kevin could hear him over the music. Kevin glanced at the dance floor. To his satisfaction, AJ was watching he and Nick and frowning. “I’ve learned, Kevin, that even if you think it will break your heart, you need to do what your heart tells you to do. Even if it may hurt the people around you.” Kevin couldn’t believe what he was hearing. Was Nick hinting that HE was interested?

“Well, Nick, okay…I, um…”

“I’m sure she’ll say yes. She really cares about you,” Nick said, taking a gulp of his beer. Kevin froze.

“She? She who?”

“Lara. Look, Kevin, I know it’s awkward and all, but I really think you two could make a go of it.”

“Me and Lara? Nick, who put that crazy idea…” One more look at the dance floor told him exactly who could have put that idea in Nick’s head. “Look, Nick, Lara and I are just friends. I’m not sure what people have been telling you but they’re wrong. I don’t want anything to do with her that way.” Kevin ran a hand through his hair. “I don’t feel like dancing. I’ll be in the back room.” Kevin strode to the staircase, his shoulders slumped.

Nick carried AJ his drink. “You were wrong. He doesn’t want Lara.” Nick looked confused.

“He says that now. Maybe he’s protecting you. Don’t underestimate Kevin, Nick.” AJ took his drink and toasted Nick. “Now, let’s groove.”

 

AJ wandered into the back room about an hour later. Kevin was staring down into his third drink, swirling the ice around. “Hey, Kev, what’s up?”

In one motion, Kevin had AJ by the shirt. “You rotten little snake. You fucking whore. What the hell are you telling him?”

“Kev, relax.” AJ shrugged until Kevin released him. “You mean you and Lara AREN’T an item?” His eyes were innocent.

“Fuck you, AJ.” Kevin glared at him. “You know we’re not. You’re not playing fair. Why do you want to use him? There are a hundred other guys out there for you to blow or fuck or whatever you do. Why him? Because I want him for something more?”

“Maybe I want him for more, too, Kev, ever think of that?” Kevin was shocked by AJ’s honesty. Suddenly his friend looked tired. “I love Nick. He’s a great guy. I just want to take our friendship to another level.”

“Well, so do I,” Kevin whispered as Howie and Nick came in.

“What are you guys talking about?” Howie asked.

“Relationships,” Kevin said, flopping back down onto his chair. Everyone else sat as well.

“They are a bitch, aren’t they?” Nick sighed. “I’m glad I don’t have to worry about that.”

Kevin and AJ stared at him. “Oh, really, Nick?” AJ tried to sound noncommittal.

“Yeah. I think I’ve found someone. It’s a good friend of mine…but I haven’t gotten around to telling them how much I care about them.” Howie, AJ and Kevin watched him. Nick ran a hand through his blond hair. “Soon, though. Very soon. We’ve played around and fooled around but now…it’s different.”

Kevin felt his heart jump into his throat. Him. Nick wanted him. They played around all the time while playing basketball. Nick wanted him.

AJ almost choked on his drink. Finally. Nick wanted to take it further. Nick had actually let AJ grind up against him for almost fifteen minutes out on the dance floor. Nick wanted him.

“I’m gonna call it a night early, guys. I got a lot on my mind.” Nick stood. “Later, D…AJ…Kev…”

“Bye, Nick,” Howie said, smacking Nick on the back as he passed. The other men just watched, wondering when Nick would call.


	11. Chapter 11

CONFLICT OF INTEREST   
Eleven

 

Two days went by. Kevin waited by his phone. Nick didn’t call to play basketball. He didn’t call at all. Kevin was going crazy. He couldn’t believe that he was letting himself get so worked up about this. It was more than just Nick; it was the idea that Nick might pick AJ. He couldn’t bear to see Nick with AJ. AJ would gloat. AJ would rub it in. AJ would practically screw Nick right in front of Kevin, just to put salt in the wound. Damn AJ. AJ with the sexy body and the fuck me eyes and the way of just grooving whenever he moved.

Kevin looked at himself in the mirror and groaned. If Nick showed up on his doorstep that second, he’d turn and run. Kevin hadn’t shaved, hadn’t even gotten out of his pajamas, in two days. He decided to at least clean himself up, in case Nick decided to pay him a visit.

 

Two days went by. AJ had his cellphone and pager practically glued to his body. He changed the batteries in his pager three times. He told friends to call his cellphone to make sure it was working, then yelled at them for holding up his line when he was waiting for that important call. He didn’t go out with his friends, didn’t call anyone back who left messages. He moodily watched TV, waiting for the call that didn’t come. Nick didn’t even call to say hi, which was rare. Howie called every day, but AJ didn’t tell him why he wouldn’t go out. He said he was sick. And he was. Sick of screwing around, sick of playing around. He wanted something serious, and he wanted it with Nick. He was positive of that. And he was positive Nick wanted it, too.

Except for Kevin. Damn Kevin. AJ had to admit, Kevin had a lot of characteristics that would attract Nick. He was handsome, he was responsible, and he COULD be fun, when he pulled the stick out of his ass. Damn Kevin anyway.

AJ made himself clean up the house, just for something to do until Nick called.

 

On the third day, Kevin had had enough of his house. He couldn’t believe he had come to this, sitting around his house, waiting for a call that would obviously never come. He would accept the fact that Nick had chosen AJ, and move on. Maybe he WOULD call Lara. Kevin had never actually ADMITTED he was totally gay…maybe he was just experimenting. He’d call her later in the afternoon. She always was nice to talk to, if nothing else.

Kevin pulled on a white tanktop and black gym shorts and grabbed the basketball that Nick had given him. Maybe shooting some hoops would help him get it out. And he sure as hell needed the fresh air and exercise. He hopped in his car and drove to the park by the river. He knew it would be deserted at this time of the morning.

Kevin was soon deep into his game, playing in small circles around the key, occasionally trying goofy shots like under one leg or behind his back, sometimes even shooting backwards over his head. He was actually having a nice time, enjoying the warm morning and the adrenaline that the workout was pushing through his veins.

“Looking good there, Shaq,” a voice said behind him. Kevin whirled around in mid shot and the ball went up in the air and down on his head. “Oh, shit, Kev, you okay?” Nick was concerned as he jogged across the court.

“I’m fine. Hard head,” Kevin said, smiling bashfully as he rubbed the top of his head. Nick rescued the basketball and twirled it on one finger.

“I thought I might find you here. I called your place and no one answered.” Nick tossed the ball to Kevin. “Check.”

The two men played in silence for almost an hour, with Kevin finally pulling from behind to beat Nick. They sat on a bench, gasping for breath. “Thanks for playing. That felt good,” Kevin said.

“Thank YOU,” Nick said. “I needed that.” He looked at Kevin. “Sorry I didn’t call. I went out of town for a bit.”

“I was a bit worried, but I figured something came up,” Kevin said lightly. He was determined not to let Nick see how anxious he was.

“Kevin, look. I’m sorry about the Lara thing. I didn’t know. Ends up I didn’t know a lot about you,” Nick said. He sighed. “I guess you know I’m gay.”

“Um, well, yeah,” Kevin said, surprised at the admission. “Lara told us the night of AJ’s party.”

Nick nodded. “I figured she would. I meant to tell you guys, but it’s been so hard.”

“I can believe it,” Kevin said, understanding totally.

“I’ve been really confused about what I wanted…but I think I know now…and I just want to say thanks for putting up with me and being my friend.”

“Of course, Nick. I’m ALWAYS here for you, no matter WHAT,” Kevin emphasized.

“I know,” Nick said softly. He put a hand on Kevin’s shoulder and scooted closer. “I really appreciate everything you do, Kevin. You’re amazing.”

“Well…” Kevin blushed.

“Are we gonna do lunch today?” Nick asked. “I’ve missed it.”

“Me, too,” Kevin said, smiling.

“Before this goes further…I need to just…oh, hell…” Nick leaned in and kissed Kevin on the lips before Kevin could react. Kevin was shocked, but made himself kiss him back. “I’m sorry,” Nick said breathlessly. “I’ve wanted to do that for a while and I never had the balls.”

“It’s…okay…” Kevin stuttered.

“Um…well…look. Let’s go back and change, okay?” Nick stood, uncertainly watching Kevin. Kevin sighed. Once again he had to be the one to look out for everyone.

“Okay.” Kevin got in his car, Nick into his own. There was no mention of the kiss during lunch, and Nick left soon after they were done eating. Kevin returned home and wondered what the kiss had meant. They planned on hooking up with everyone the next day, and Kevin made a vow to himself to finally admit his feelings to Nick. It was obvious Nick was attracted to him, and something needed to be said.

Kevin spent the rest of the evening laying on the sofa, staring at the ceiling, remembering the feeling of Nick’s lips on his.


	12. Chapter 12

CONFLICT OF INTEREST  
Twelve

 

“Hey,” Nick said wearily as he slid into the booth across from AJ. “You been waiting long?”

“Two drinks long…no problem,” AJ said with a smile, raising his glass to Nick and finishing it off. “You want something?”

“Nah…well…yeah.” AJ waved the waiter over.

“Another for me. And Blondie here will have…”

“Vodka and cranberry juice…light on the juice…” Nick told him. “And follow it quick with another one.”

“Yes sir.” The waiter walked away and AJ stared at Nick. There were bags under his eyes and he looked exhausted.

“You okay?”

“Yeah, I played ball with Kevin today and I’m tired.” Nick looked at AJ carefully. “Sorry I was gone for a few days. I needed some time to myself.”

“Not a problem. I’m just glad you called me today.”

“I’m sorry it was such short notice. I was afraid you’d have plans.”

“No, not me. Just sitting around…” Waiting for you to call, AJ mentally finished. “How’s Kevin.”

“GOOD,” Nick said, not realizing how he had emphasized the word. AJ’s heart sank. “Too good. He needs someone.”

“Yeah, he does,” AJ said faintly. He couldn’t believe how nervous he was. “You wanna eat something?”

“Not here,” Nick said. “I need to be outside. Can we walk on the boardwalk?”

“Sure,” AJ said, surprised. He waved for their check as Nick downed his second drink.

Nick inhaled the sea air. “SO much better,” he sighed.

“I swear, the ocean is better than oxygen for you,” AJ teased. “I don’t get it.”

“I don’t think you could. You seem to be more into material things…into the right now. I’m more into stuff like nature.” Nick smiled at AJ. “One of the many ways we’re different.”

“We’re not THAT different,” AJ said quickly. “I mean, I’m not THAT shallow. I’m into things like love and stuff, too.”

“I’m sure you are, Aje. One of the many reasons I love ya.” Nick threw an arm around AJ and squeezed, then pulled back. “Let’s sit over there.” He pointed to a bench that overlooked the beach. The boardwalk was deserted, so Nick lay flat on his back on the bench. AJ leaned on the railing with his back to the water.

“Kevin doesn’t really want Lara,” AJ finally admitted. Nick smiled.

“I know he doesn’t. He denied it so intensely I kinda figured it out. But I still think they could work.” Nick stared up at the stars. “It’s been a hard time for me lately…letting her go…admitting to myself it would never work with her…admitting who I really am.” Nick looked at AJ. “I know you know I’m gay, Aje.”

“Yeah?” AJ was surprised. “Well, even if she wouldn’t have told me, my gaydar would have picked it up sooner or later. You’re a prime specimen, Nicky.”

Nick howled with laughter, which echoed down the boardwalk. “God, I wish I could be more like you. Just come out and say what I’m thinking, to whomever I’m thinking it about.”

“I’m not always like that,” AJ muttered, drawing lines in the sand on the boards with his shoe.

“But mostly you are. You want someone you tell them…or show them…I want to do that, and all I’ve done is hurt the people I care about…confuse them.” Nick slowly stood up. “Look, Aje…I need to be alone again tonight. I have some tough decisions to make tomorrow, and I need to be alone. Do you mind?”

“Um, well, no, of course not.” AJ took one look at Nick’s pouty lips and sad eyes and decided he would have cut off his hand if Nick had asked. “You gonna be okay?”

“Yeah.” Nick put a hand on AJ’s shoulder. “Thanks, AJ. I never realized how truly amazing you are until recently.” He bent his head and gently kissed AJ’s lips, pressing hard and quick before moving back. “I’ll see you tomorrow.” Nick plodded down the boardwalk, leaving AJ standing with his mouth hanging open.

AJ sat down on the vacated bench and stared towards the water. Nick kissed him. His knees felt like jello. He couldn’t believe the effect Nick was having on him. Nick was making him hurt all over, and not just in a physical way. AJ stared at the water for a while, then slowly headed back to the restaurant to get his car.


	13. Chapter 13

CONFLICT OF INTEREST   
Thirteen

 

Kevin was thankful that they were meeting at Howie’s. If it would have been Nick’s or AJ’s, he would have felt odd, and he couldn’t totally come out like this in front of his cousin. He felt odd enough even seeing Nick, after that kiss. And he didn’t want to see the look on AJ’s face when he told Nick he cared about him and Nick confessed his own feelings. AJ would be hurt, and Kevin hated the thought. Even after all the shit AJ had pulled, Kevin still loved him  
.

AJ took special care getting dressed to hang with the guys. He wore jeans; he couldn’t overdo it, but he wore a dark green shirt he knew Nick would like, with a white wifebeater underneath it. A backward baseball cap completed the outfit. A splash of new cologne and AJ was ready to roll.

As he jumped into his car, he worried about facing Kevin. The kiss from Nick had sealed his heart, and AJ was ready to just tell Nick how he felt. He knew Nick knew he wanted him physically, but Nick had no clue that AJ wanted more. And he was ready to tell him. AJ loved Kevin with all his heart and he knew it would kill him to lose Nick to AJ. AJ was no longer out to thwart Kevin’s plans…it had all come too easily. Kevin was barely over the broken heart from the failed marriage to Kristin. This might just be his breaking point.

AJ sighed deeply. He was always selfish, always putting himself first. Now he knew why. It was easier to just do his own thing and not consider the consequences.

 

“Hey, how ya doing?” Howie asked Kevin as he opened the door. “Oh, good, there’s AJ. On time for once,” Howie commented as AJ squealed into the driveway. Kevin turned around.

“Yeah, for once.” Kevin darted past Howie to go down to the studio.

Nick and Brian were seated on the piano bench playing “Heart and Soul” and cracking each other up. Kevin stopped in the doorway and watched Nick. He wore a blue tshirt and denim shorts, and Kevin couldn’t stop looking at him. “Beautiful, isn’t he?” A voice behind Kevin said. Kevin whirled around. “Don’t worry…Howie’s up getting drinks,” AJ said. “Look, Kevin, I…”

“Hey, guys!” Nick said happily. He jumped up and gave them each bear hugs.

“You just saw us yesterday,” AJ commented, moving as Nick threw himself at Kevin.

“Yeah, but I am happy to see you again!” Nick bounced back to the piano and resumed trying to shove Brian from the bench.

“You look happy in general, man,” Kevin said, sitting down on a stool next to the piano. Nick did look happy. His eyes were shining and the exhausted look was gone from his face. Kevin and AJ glanced at each other anxiously. “Look, Nick, could I talk to you for a minute?”

“Um, sure, Kevin, but can it wait a second? I have something to say to you guys.”

Even Brian looked at him in confusion. “What’s up, Nick?” AJ asked finally. Nick got up and began to pace. Howie came back with his arms full of sodas.

“What’s going on?” Howie asked.

“Nick has something to tell us,” Brian said with a sigh, remembering the last time a revelation had been made in a studio.

“Oh, okay.” Howie smiled kindly at Nick and plopped down on a chair. He snapped open his soda and looked at Nick eagerly.

Nick paced once more. “You guys know I just came out…well…to you guys anyway. I’ve known for a while that I was gay. Not even bi, like AJ…just full out gay.” Nick sighed. “Well, I’ve been looking…you know…for someone. That special someone who could teach me about the sex part but give me the love part, too.” AJ and Nick exchanged glances. “I needed it to be someone I could trust, that I already trusted…someone I was attracted to as well.” Nick stopped pacing and took a step towards Kevin and AJ. “I know kissing you and running yesterday was wrong but…”

“You kissed him?” AJ and Kevin said together. Nick had the grace to blush.

“I needed to know. I needed to be sure. And I just couldn’t help it.” Nick’s eyes were very blue. “You both have so much to offer in so many different ways. AJ, with your wild extravagant personality, and your whole sexuality…God. And Kevin…you’re so dark and brooding and serious…how could someone not get turned on by that?”

“You’re not gonna kiss ME now, are you?” Brian asked, wrinkling his nose. Howie smacked him and Nick ignored him.

“Anyway, I wanted to apologize. I know you both have been interested in me…and I kinda led you along. But I really only wanted to find out what I wanted, and you both helped me do that. Ends up I wanted something I had all along.” Nick smiled and looked at Howie. “The first man I kissed and the first man to tell me he wanted me.”

Brian spit out his soda. “What? No. Oh no.”

“HOWIE?” AJ almost shrieked.

“And why is that so hard to believe?” Howie asked, standing up and walking over to Nick. The taller man put his arm around him and pulled him into a hug. Kevin’s mouth fell open.

“Howie? But I thought…you said…Howie’s not gay.”

“Yes, Howie is,” Howie replied. “Will you guys PLEASE stop talking about me like I’m not here? I’m gay, Kevin. I always have been. But I had no interest in you guys. Not ever. Not until I noticed the tendencies in Nick…and I just kinda felt things out.”

“I BET you did,” AJ muttered, absolutely furious and totally embarrassed.

“Not like that, Alexander!” Howie snapped. “I don’t work the way you do. This was not sexual at all. There was some kissing, yes, but that’s it. I told Nick that I didn’t want him to rush into anything…that I wanted him to be sure of his choice.”

“You used us,” Kevin said slowly. Nick shook his head violently.

“No. Oh no. Not on purpose. I didn’t mean for it to go this far,” Nick insisted. “Howie makes me so happy…he understands me…and there’s something else…something further that I want to experience and explore.”

Brian sat open mouthed, watching the comments fly. He couldn’t believe what he was hearing. “So all this time you were secretly seeing Howie, but both AJ and Kevin thought you were after them?”

“I don’t know if they thought that,” Nick hedged, though it was obvious it was JUST what they had thought.

“I need to leave. I can’t be here any longer.” AJ jumped up and hurried for the door.

“Aje, wait!” Nick exclaimed. Kevin put a hand on him.

“Don’t. Don’t talk to him. Don’t talk to me. Don’t call us, we’ll call you. Bye, Bri.” Kevin took off after AJ. “Aje, wait! It’s me, Kevin.”

AJ stopped by his car, his dark eyes full of shame. “Kevin, I’m so sorry. I feel like shit now. And it’s not just because I “lost.” It’s because I treated you like shit and you don’t deserve that. I felt this way before I even came over here.”

“Wanna go get drunk?” Kevin suggested. AJ looked at him for a long moment.

“It’s like noon, Kev.”

“Do you?” Kevin demanded.

“Yes,” AJ answered. “You go buy it. Come to my house and I’ll have the bar all ready. I don’t need anyone to see how low I’ve gotten.”


	14. Chapter 14

CONFLICT OF INTEREST  
Fourteen

 

“I’ll call you tomorrow,” Nick said as he walked Brian to Howie’s front door. Brian turned around and put a hand on his friend’s shoulder.

“Call me sooner, if you need to.” Brian heaved a deep sigh. “Look, Nick, I have to be honest. All of this weirds me out. You’re gay, Howie’s gay, Kevin MIGHT be gay…it’s kinda freaky. But first and foremost, you’re my best friend. If you need me, I’m here for you.”

“God, Bri, thanks.” Nick hugged Brian tight. “I needed to hear that.”

“Like I said, call me. Later.” Brian went out the door and Nick closed it behind him. He slowly headed back down to the studio, where Howie was straightening up.

Nick sat down behind the piano and began to fiddle at the keyboard. Howie glanced at him but said nothing. Soon the piano stopped. “I didn’t mean to hurt anyone,” Nick said slowly. Howie continued to pick up soda cans. “Okay, it was wrong for me to kiss them and not mean it. I just…I wanted to see. Kevin…damn, he’s fine, and AJ…he’s just so sexual. I wanted to kiss them just once.” Nick stared at his hands as they silently ran over the keys of the piano. “I wasn’t being honest with anyone. Not Lara, not AJ, not Kevin, not myself. Maybe not even you.” Nick looked up at Howie, who was now leaning on the piano and watching him. “I told Lara and AJ different stories about being with a guy. I never really have been. I kissed a few while in Europe, and I let a guy jack me off once.” Nick wanted to talk and Howie let him babble. “I was drunk one night and a guy talked me into going back to his apartment with him from the bar. I was about to actually fuck him, was all ready, but I was too drunk to do it. I got inside and was hard for like two seconds before it disappeared. How fucking embarrassing.” Nick stared off into space, remembering the mortifying experience. “So, I lied to you all. Told them I had been with someone when I hadn’t, and told you I hadn’t when I really did.”

“No, it doesn’t sound like you’ve done all that much, Nick,” Howie said, sitting next to him on the piano bench. “And that’s why you found yourself attracted to Kevin and AJ. AJ could teach you…like you said he’s so sexual, and I’ve heard him through the walls. He knows how to please someone…man or woman. So with him you saw the teacher. And Kevin, he’s as lost and confused as you are, and you saw someone to learn with.” Howie ran a hand through his long hair and looked at Nick, his brown eyes sorrowful. “I need you to be sure, Nick. This is more than sex for me. You know how I feel, and I’ve let you sort your own feelings out for a while now. I don’t want just drunk fucking. I don’t want to be just someone you experiment with and move on. I love you.”

Nick’s mouth fell open. Howie had become a very special person in his life. He had helped him just by listening to all his babbling and confusion. He had spent time with him, just happy to be with him. He had allowed him to spend time with AJ and Kevin to try and figure out what he wanted. But Nick had never thought that Howie loved him. Not like that. “You mean…you’re IN love with me?”

Howie smiled. “Yes, silly.” He reached over and ruffled Nick’s hair, then slid his hand down Nick’s cheek quickly in a reassuring gesture. “What’s not to love?”

“Howie…I…” Emotions swirled through Nick. He had decided that Howie was what he wanted a few days earlier. Not AJ, not Kevin. Howie. Howie had always listened. Howie had always told him the truth as he saw it. Howie had flirted but not pushed. Howie was a combination of what Nick had been attracted to in AJ AND Kevin, and Nick had unconsciously realized that as he thought it all out. “I think I love…”

“Shhh.” Howie put a finger on Nick’s full lips. “No. Not yet. Don’t say it just because I did. I know you have strong feelings for me, Nick, and I want us to try this and see if it can work. But we need to take it slow.” Nick couldn’t help but flicker his tongue out against Howie’s finger. He saw Howie swallow deeply. “Nick, that’s not making it easy to take things slow.”

“What are you saying?” Nick tilted his head to the side in an innocent movement, but his eyes were anything but innocent.

“You know exactly what I’m saying. How can I take things slow to keep from scaring you when you do that and look at me like that and make me want to jump that tall sexy body of yours?” Howie asked, unable to keep a straight face. Nick grinned back, saying nothing. “Better. That’s the smile I love.” Howie grew serious. “AJ and Kevin will come around, Nick. They both love you as a brother more than anything else, and they’ll realize that your happiness is what counts.”

“Yeah,” Nick said morosely. He had forgotten AJ and Kevin for a split second.

“Go upstairs to the master bathroom. Soak in the tub. Relax. I’ll be up in a while.”

“Really?” Nick asked. He hadn’t been with someone in so long…hadn’t been touched…just kissing Howie drove him crazy.

“To give you a massage,” Howie finished, arching an eyebrow. “Damn, horny much, Nicky?”

“Sorry,” Nick mumbled, embarrassed. He got up from the piano bench. Howie stood also and grabbed Nick by the shoulder. He whirled the younger man around and pressed his body against Nick’s.

“Don’t do that. I was only joking.” Howie’s mouth pressed against Nick’s as his hands slid up to run through Nick’s hair. Nick moaned, his arms wrapping around Howie’s strong torso. Howie sucked on Nick’s tongue until he gasped. “I DO want you, Nick, but not now. Not today. I don’t know how much longer I can hold out though…you’re so fucking amazing.”

“Howie…” Nick whimpered. “I want you, too.”

“Go upstairs before I molest you on top of the piano,” Howie ordered. Nick smiled and started to walk away. Howie grabbed him back again, but this time he simply kissed Nick’s cheek. Nick smiled again and jogged up the steps. Howie let out a sigh and resumed his cleaning.

 

“Now I see why you drink so much,” Kevin said, emptying the bottle into his glass. “Makes things so much easier.”

“Not the only reason, but it helps,” AJ agreed. “And I don’t drink as much as I used to,” he pointed out.

“Holy shit. Did we drink that much?” Kevin looked at the four bottles on the coffee table. He was sprawled out on the sofa, while AJ sat next to the table on the floor. “I don’t feel drunk.”

“You’re tall. You have a lot of body to intoxicate,” AJ said with a grin. “I’m small but my metabolism is fast. Moves it right through me.” Both were buzzed, but not enough to hinder their speech or thought. Neither of them had tried to walk since they had started drinking, so physical impediments were a possibility.

“I don’t FUCKING believe this,” Kevin said, moaning as he threw his head back against the sofa cushions. “I mean, I almost came out and told him I was in love with him. I mean, obviously he knew something, but at least he didn’t know that.”

“Me too!” AJ added. “I’ve never thought about any guy in this way before. I like sex. I don’t care who it’s with, I like it. But the whole thought of setting up something…something REAL…with someone who knows me inside and out like Nick…it really was sounding good, ya know?”

“Yeah,” Kevin said. “Poor Lara. She’s gone through the same thing we’re going through now, except she actually lived with him. Lived a lie for all that time.”

“She’s sweet. I need to call her. Need to apologize,” AJ said. “Write that down, please.”

Kevin reached behind the sofa to the small telephone stand. He picked up the pad and pencil.

“Call…Lara…” He said as he scribbled. “You don’t need to apologize, though. She understands. She knows what it’s like to love Nick.”

“To Lara.” AJ split the last bottle between his glass and Kevin’s. Kevin raised his glass as well.

“To Lara, bless her cute heart.”

“Howie…fucking HOWIE, for God’s sake, Kev!” AJ snapped. “Why? What does he have that I don’t? That YOU don’t?”

“He’s more stable than you…and more experienced than me,” Kevin said with a sigh. “Nick would’ve gotten a loser in me. What do I know about men…sexually or emotionally? Nothing.”

“Um, Kev? You ARE a guy,” AJ pointed out.

“Yeah, well, DUH.” Kevin glared at AJ. “I know that. But I don’t know anything about sex with guys or having a relationship with a guy.”

“Sex with guys is good. Damn good. You know what to do to make it feel good,” AJ told him.

“SEE? YOU would have been good for Nick.”

“But just like sex would have been new for you, the whole relationship thing would have been new for me,” AJ said. “Howie’s not a fuck-em-and-leave-em kinda guy. He’s been in serious things…and Nick wants that.”

“Why did he kiss us?” Kevin asked miserably. “Why? Why go there?”

“Nick’s confused,” AJ said in his defense. “And maybe he wanted to do one last thing to make up his mind for him.” AJ glared at the ice in his glass. “Wish he woulda chosen some other way, though.”

“Definitely,” Kevin agreed. He slowly slid down to the floor next to AJ. AJ played with an empty bottle.

“So, how do you feel? Not physically. I mean, about this.”

“I feel embarrassed. I feel betrayed. I feel alone. I feel tired. I feel angry,” Kevin ticked off feelings on his fingers. “You?”

“All of those. Not alone though.” AJ reached over and gave Kevin’s thigh a squeeze. “I’m glad you came over.”

“Me too.” Kevin smiled at AJ. “Glad we made up, too. I hated feeling like I had to compete with you.”

“I’m sorry, Kevin. That was all my fault.”

“My fault, too. I acted like a damn baby.” Kevin blushed slightly. “But I just knew he’d pick you. You’re so sexual and hot and amazing…I mean, how could he refuse.”

“He did. More than once,” AJ admitted. Kevin’s mouth fell open. “I got him drunk one night and made a pass at him. He jumped out of the limo at his house and ran.”

“Oh, you’re kidding. You’re KIDDING,” Kevin said smiling with glee.

“Hey, don’t get so much joy out of that, okay? It was embarrassing,” AJ said angrily. Kevin started to chuckle. “Kevin, shut the fuck up, okay?”

“AJ, I’m sorry. I can’t help it. THE AJ McLean got shot down.” Kevin outright laughed.

“Kevin, shut UP!” AJ growled. Kevin fell over onto the floor, he was laughing so hard. It felt so good to laugh. AJ finally cracked a smile. “Okay, yes, it was a little funny. From YOUR perspective, maybe. But I can assure you it was QUITE embarrassing.” Kevin howled at the indignant look on AJ’s face.

“Oh…Aje…” Kevin gasped for breath. “I needed this so much…thank you…”

“You’re welcome, I think,” AJ said, finally smiling for real. Kevin sat up and controlled himself. “You hungry at all? We didn’t really get anything to eat at Howie’s.”

“Nah, not really.” Kevin looked at AJ and gave him a friendly smile. “I’m glad we’re friends again.”

“Me too, Kev.” AJ reached over and hugged Kevin. Kevin squeezed back. They pulled away and just looked at each other.

Kevin felt nervous. The hug from AJ had sent shocks through his body. He knew he wasn’t sober, but he also knew that he was thinking things about AJ suddenly that he had NEVER thought before.

AJ looked into Kevin’s beautiful green eyes and sighed. Kevin was so handsome. He was everything AJ wasn’t…tall, handsome, strong, responsible. All qualities that AJ envied. Kevin also had a great sense of humor that he didn’t show very often, but when he did it always floored AJ. AJ sighed again. If only Kevin…AJ looked deeper into Kevin’s eyes. There was something there that he hadn’t noticed before…a glimmer of something.

“AJ?” Kevin said, his throat suddenly dry.

“What, Kev?” AJ answered softly. He noticed his voice was shaking.

“I…um…I just…um…” Kevin stammered. He was saved by AJ’s lips on his. He sighed and fell into the kiss wholeheartedly.

AJ moaned slightly, his tongue flicking out to dance with Kevin’s. He felt Kevin’s large hands on his shoulders. This felt so right that he couldn’t believe they hadn’t done it before. AJ was the first to finally pull away. “Kevin?” Kevin looked at him inquisitively. “Come upstairs with me,” AJ asked in a whisper. Kevin paused for only a split second before slowly nodding.


	15. Chapter 15

CONFLICT OF INTEREST  
Fifteen

 

The two men stared at each other for a moment. “Why don’t you go on up?” AJ asked hoarsely. “I’ll be up in a sec.”

“Okay,” Kevin whispered, carefully getting to his feet. The room swam for a split second, then everything settled. He slowly made his way to the stairs, and with one more look back at AJ he started to ascend them.

AJ remained where he was for a few minutes. He couldn’t believe that he had just asked Kevin up to his bedroom. KEVIN. And he couldn’t believe Kevin had said yes. AJ knew that he was horny, hell, ANYONE would have looked good at that moment, but Kevin was beautiful. And there was more. So much more. A connection just like the one he had felt to Nick, except here the connection was totally reciprocated. AJ was sure of that. He had seen it in Kevin’s eyes.

AJ carefully stood and gathered up the empty bottles. He dumped them into the recycle bin and then began to walk up the stairs.

 

Kevin sat on the edge of AJ’s large waterbed. He sat and looked at his fingernails, totally nervous and confused. Maybe AJ was just using him. Maybe they were using each other. They were both hurt by Nick’s betrayal of them, and embarrassed at how they had thrown themselves at Nick, each in their own way. Kevin cared about AJ…maybe in the same way he had thought he cared about Nick. He had really been hurt when AJ had turned against him, lying to Nick to get Nick for himself. He and AJ had always been close on a superficial level, joking and laughing but rarely having heart-to-heart conversations. This afternoon, in the living room, was the closest it had ever been…and now it was about to get closer.

Kevin took a deep breath and decided that he needed to just tell AJ that it was fine with him if this was just a quick fuck. He had never had sex with a man, and who better to experiment with than AJ. He would tell AJ that if he just wanted a roll in the sack, it was cool, because it was all Kevin wanted, too. They’d fuck, and then Kevin would go home. Maybe he’d call Lara to come get him, since he was in no condition to drive. Lara would come get him and he’d pour out his heart to her and she’d help him get through this, just like she had helped him understand his whole Nick situation. Because he wasn’t falling for AJ. Couldn’t be. AJ would never want him that way, and he couldn’t handle his heart being broken again.

 

AJ saw Kevin jump as he entered the bedroom. Kevin was sitting on the edge of the bed staring into space. AJ knew that stare well. It was the “I’m thinking about things and how I can make them work out” stare. AJ tried to smile but it seemed like a weak gesture.

“Look, Aje, I…” Kevin began. AJ held up his hand and took a step closer.

“No. Me first. My house me first,” AJ said with a small smile. He sat down next to Kevin but didn’t touch him. “Just so you know, Kev…I’m really really nervous. I mean, I’ve done this a million times but never with someone like you. This is just…damn…” AJ laughed a nervous laugh. “Imagine me being nervous about sex. I feel like a fucking virgin, if you’ll excuse the pun.”

“Nervous? You?” Kevin stared at him.

“Is that so hard to believe? I mean, shit, Kev, you’re so damn hot. I noticed it before, of course, but always like on the side. Like, yeah, that’s Kevin my friend, my brother, and he’s hot, but look over THERE at that guy. Maybe because I didn’t think you could be interested in me.”

“But, AJ, I thought you just…” Kevin stammered, not knowing what to say.

“You thought I just wanted a fuck…just someone to fuck, right?” AJ asked sadly. “Yeah, I can see why you’d think that. Hell, if I was you I’d think that, too. That’s how it started with Nick. Then I realized I wanted more.” AJ’s dark eyes were serious. “I still want more. Downstairs, Kev, I felt this…I dunno…connection, or something. I’ve never felt that way with ANYONE before…not another guy…not a woman. But I felt it with you. I felt this incredible attraction, along with something deeper.” AJ smiled slightly. “I know this is totally against character for me, and it may ruin my rep…but oh well. You’re worth it.”

“Me?” Kevin hated the squeak in his voice. He also hated the fact that he couldn’t put a sentence together. AJ felt this way about HIM?

“Kevin, let me put it simply. I want you. Shit, do I want you. Bad. But I refuse to use you for a quick lay. I can get that anywhere. I saw something in your eyes downstairs that tells me you feel the same way. There’s something more here…am I right?”

Kevin looked AJ in the eye. “Yes,” he said slowly. “But I’m not sure what, and I’m scared, too.”

“Don’t be.” AJ reached up and lightly touched Kevin’s cheek. “I don’t want to hurt you, Kev.”

“You won’t,” Kevin whispered. AJ leaned over and kissed him, and Kevin fell into it just as hard as he had downstairs. He felt AJ’s nimble fingers dance up his back to his hair, tangling in the waves. Kevin moaned. He couldn’t help it. It had been so long, and though this was odd and forbidden it was right, too.

“Kevin…shit…I want you,” AJ whispered. “I want to show you so many things…to take that sexy body for myself…to offer you my own body.” AJ’s lips trailed down Kevin’s jaw to his ear. He lightly sucked on Kevin’s earlobe.

“Yes…Aje…oh GOD yes…” Kevin hissed. He felt himself harden against his jeans.

“But whenever you want to stop, we can,” AJ said, pulling back to look at him. “I mean it. I care about you. I respect you too much to use you if you feel wrong about it.”

Kevin stood up and looked down at AJ. To AJ, Kevin looked about ten feet tall. Kevin’s eyes twinkled though his voice was husky. “AJ, are you gonna shut up and fuck me or what?”

AJ slowly stood, his mouth falling open. Now this was a Kevin he could get on board with. Aggressive…sexual…handsome. “Well, um, Kevin…” AJ corrected the squeak in his voice before he continued. “I…just wanted to…” AJ looked up at the gleam in Kevin’s green eyes and couldn’t help but smile. “Yes, I am.” AJ’s slender fingers tugged at Kevin’s tshirt, pulling it up and revealing Kevin’s broad chest. He sighed as he pulled the shirt up and over Kevin’s head. He’d never look like that. Never be that strong…that built. His hands slid up from Kevin’s abdomen to his chest, lightly tweaking Kevin’s nipples.

“Shit…Aje…” Kevin gasped, feeling as if all air had left the room. With shaking hands he reached for AJ’s shirt and carefully undid the buttons. He slid the shirt down to reveal AJ’s lithe body, covered only in a tight wifebeater and baggy jeans. Kevin knew from many times changing together that AJ didn’t do underwear if he could help it. And neither did he. He pulled at the wifebeater and it slowly came off of AJ’s body, pulling the scent of his cologne with it. Kevin took a deep breath and felt his knees weaken. He sat on the bed with AJ standing in front of him. He tentatively pressed his lips to AJ’s chest and he heard AJ suck in a deep breath. His lips trailed over to carefully taste one of AJ’s nipples. AJ let out a moan and grabbed at Kevin’s shoulders.

“I thought you never did this before, Kevin…” AJ managed to pant.

“I haven’t,” Kevin said softly against AJ’s chest.

“It’s so easy. You just think about what you like and then you do it to…oh fuck…” AJ stopped talking as Kevin’s teeth bit at one nipple and his fingers pinched the other. AJ lost his balance and tumbled them both onto the bed.

AJ forgot to be anxious about pleasing Kevin. Kevin forgot to be nervous about his first time with a man. All that mattered was their mouths…tasting each other…and their bodies…feeling each other. AJ bit at Kevin’s shoulder as Kevin licked a line up his neck. He sucked hard at AJ’s earlobe, running his tongue in, out and around the large hoop earring AJ had started to wear all the time. AJ moaned, his body arching up against Kevin unconsciously. He could feel Kevin, hard, long, pressing against his own aching cock.

“Aje…I wanna touch you…please…” Kevin begged, needing to feel all of AJ, needing to see all of him. Kevin’s hands shook once more as they undid AJ’s belt and slowly slid the jeans down AJ’s slender legs. AJ’s cock stood at attention, thick and hard. As Kevin crawled back up the bed, he slid his hand up the inside of AJ’s thigh, letting the hand lightly brush against AJ’s balls.

“Kevin…damn…you act like you don’t know what you’re doing but you’re doing it all right…” AJ moaned, fighting with Kevin’s jeans. “Fucking button-fly jeans. Why the hell do you people wear these things? They are NOT easy access.”

“Just to drive you crazy,” Kevin said with a small smile, caressing AJ’s chest as AJ wrestled with his clothes.

“Drive me crazy…yes…you’re doing just…that.” AJ froze momentarily as Kevin’s long cock was revealed. He was huge. AJ had seen him naked before, but never with the intentional thought of anything happening between them. “Holy fuck.” AJ got harder, if it was humanly possible. He scooted up so he was face to face with Kevin. He took Kevin’s head in his hands, kissing him passionately. Their tongues dueled until AJ caught Kevin’s and slowly sucked on it. Kevin whimpered, unconsciously rubbing his midsection against AJ. AJ smiled, then began to crawl down Kevin’s body, stopping in the middle. Before Kevin could even breathe, AJ had him in his mouth.

“Holy shit!” Kevin screamed, arching up and almost gagging AJ. “AJ…oh God…that feels so good…don’t STOP!”

“I don’t intend to,” AJ said, arching one eyebrow and smiling a wicked smile. He added his hand, working Kevin fast then slow, bringing him to the edge then pulling him back again. Kevin was writhing on the bed, moaning and begging AJ to make him cum. AJ slowly slid back up to face Kevin once more, his hand continuing to idly wander up and down Kevin’s cock. “What do you want?”

“You know what I want,” Kevin panted, and AJ decided he had never seen anything as sexy as a horny Kevin begging for release.

“You have a choice. A few choices, actually. I can just finish you…just like this.” AJ’s brown eyes twinkled as Kevin looked up at him. “I can fuck you…and finish you as we go along…or you can fuck me.”

Kevin’s mind whirled. All of these options sounded so good. Anything. Anything AJ wanted sounded good. He couldn’t decide. He had had anal sex before…knew how good it was. AJ was driving him crazy with the blowjob. That sounded good too. And the other thing…oh GOD that sounded good.

“Kevin, this isn’t the last time we’ll be together like this,” AJ finally said gently. “At least I hope not.”

Kevin looked up into AJ’s brown eyes, which were by now a swirl of emotions. He reached up and pulled AJ down for a fierce kiss. “Fuck me, AJ.”

“What?” AJ loved the sound of that. Coming from Kevin.

“I said, fuck me. Please,” Kevin almost begged. AJ rolled over to the nightstand and rummaged through a drawer. He pulled out a tube of lubricant and a box of condoms.

“Help me?” AJ asked, waving a condom in the air. He straddled Kevin’s waist and Kevin tore open the wrapper. Before he put it on AJ, however, he reached down and gently stroked him. AJ threw back his head, moaning. “St-stop, Kevin, or I won’t last…” AJ hissed. Kevin smiled and carefully sheathed him, making sure to caress AJ every inch of the way. AJ slapped his hand away playfully. “Tease.”

“What?” Kevin asked innocently. AJ growled at him and laughed.

“Okay. You do this. After that…I’ll take good care of you,” AJ said, handing Kevin the lubricant. Kevin squirted some into his hand and carefully rubbed it over AJ’s sheathed cock until it glistened with moisture. AJ took the lubricant and laid it next to them on the bed. “Close your eyes,” AJ whispered. “Relax.”

Kevin did as AJ asked, though he was once again nervous as hell. The butterflies in his stomach had butterflies. He felt AJ begin to lightly massage his chest, rubbing his hands over every square inch of him. He squirmed slightly as AJ’s fingers fluttered across the sensitive skin of his abdomen, then moaned slightly as AJ began to stroke him with an even, gentle motion. Occasionally AJ’s hands would slip lower to his balls then back up again, until he was teasing at Kevin’s entrance. He heard the lubricant squirt out onto AJ’s hand, then gasped as one finger teased and then gained entrance.

“Oh…AJ.” Kevin’s voice was a cross between a moan and a whine. AJ worked the finger in and out, quickly finding Kevin’s sensitive prostate and teasing it. “More.” Kevin’s voice was barely a whisper. AJ added a second finger, continuing to stroke Kevin’s cock with his free hand. “AJ…yes…more…”

“Kevin, I…”

“MORE, dammit!” Kevin snapped, his head thrown back. AJ got harder than ever, as he added a third finger. Kevin winced slightly and broke out into a sweat.

“Kevin, this is gonna hurt.” AJ kissed his way up Kevin’s chest to his mouth. “I don’t want to hurt you…but it will hurt like a fucking bitch.”

“I know…I want you AJ…want you inside me…please…” Kevin begged. AJ bent Kevin’s legs and pulled them up slightly. He added a bit more lubricant to his cock and began to enter Kevin.

“Kevin, I’m sorry. So sorry. This will get so good, I promise.” AJ continued to soothe Kevin with tender words as he pushed in. “Relax, push back at me…that’s it…almost…oh FUCK.” AJ groaned loudly as he buried himself inside Kevin.

Kevin tried to roll his body but AJ held him still. “Oh, FUCK, AJ…that hurts…” Kevin moaned. Kevin grabbed at the sheets and clenched them in his fist.

“Give it a second. Give it one second,” AJ murmured. He moved slightly and Kevin winced. He moved again and Kevin only blinked. He slid himself out and slowly moved back in. “Mmm, yes…”

“AJ, that’s…oh…” Kevin gasped as AJ’s thickness rolled past his prostate. “Again…oh yes…Aje…”

“God…Kevin…so tight…” AJ gripped Kevin’s thighs as he pulled himself out and then worked himself in.

“Faster. AJ. Faster.”

“Kevin, I don’t think…”

“FUCK ME, Aje…please…” Kevin grabbed at AJ’s waist, pulling him inside. AJ needed no second invitation. He slammed himself into Kevin at a steady pace. He began to sweat as he controlled the orgasm he could feel beginning to build. He reached down and took Kevin’s rock-hard cock in his hand. “Yes…AJ…oh GOD…I’m gonna…oh fuck…” Kevin arched off the bed and AJ slid in even deeper. “AJ…I’m…” Kevin was not able to finish the sentence as he shot into the air, coating his chest, AJ’s hand, and some of AJ as well. AJ grabbed at Kevin’s legs once more. He couldn’t hold it back any longer.

“Holy FUCK, KEVIN!” He screamed, pushing himself in as hard as he could. He emptied himself into the condom, inside Kevin. He slowly pulled out, discarded the condom, then fell onto his back next to Kevin. They panted for breath.

“No…wonder…you love to do that. That was incredible,” Kevin panted.

“Yes…that was…” AJ said, rolling onto his side to look at Kevin. “More incredible then any time EVER.” Kevin looked at him quizzically. “I never did that with anyone I really really cared about before.”

“Now what?” Kevin asked in a small voice.

“Sleep,” AJ said drowsily.

“That’s not what I meant,” Kevin told him. AJ looked at him.

“No, Kevin, I’m not drunk. No, I didn’t just fuck you to fuck you. Yes, I meant it when I said it will happen again. God, why do you need to think things through from forty-seven different angles before deciding what’s going on?” AJ said almost angrily. “Now, get under these covers with me. I’m cold.” AJ scooted under the covers and Kevin followed.

“But, AJ, I…”

“If you don’t shut the fuck up right now I’m breaking up with you,” AJ growled. “Sleep. Now.”

“Okay,” Kevin said, unable to keep the smile from his face. He laid on his side facing away from AJ, and soon felt AJ spoon up behind him.

“Better,” AJ said sleepily, laying his head against Kevin’s back. They slept.


	16. Chapter 16

CONFLICT OF INTEREST  
Sixteen

 

“Aje. AJ. Alex.” AJ felt someone shaking him as a bell rang.

“Go ‘way.”

“AJ, you are the WORST fucking person to get up in the morning,” Kevin snapped. “I didn’t know you were this bad after a nap. Answer the damn phone.”

AJ groaned and rolled over to the nightstand. He grabbed the phone. “What time is it?”

“Hello to you, too, AJ, and it’s eight-thirty at night. Were you sleeping?” Brian asked.

“Yes,” AJ moaned, slowly sitting up and grabbing his head. “Sleeping.”

“Management called me. They were trying to find Kevin but can’t get a hold of him.”

“Kevin?” AJ asked, peering at Kevin in the darkness. “Why did they want him?”

“Because he is supposedly the most responsible of us all, though lately I doubt that. Apparently I’m second most responsible, because when they couldn’t find him they called me. Emergency meeting tomorrow. They want to see what we’ve come up with in the way of new songs, so we have to get together tomorrow morning to work on them. Meeting with management is at six. We’re gonna meet tomorrow at my house at ten.”

“Ten?” AJ groaned. “No. Meet here. We can use my studio.”

“Okay, fine.” Brian paused for a moment. “Is Kevin there?”

“Yeah, he stayed here,” AJ said slowly. He could hear Kevin sit up.

“Did you guys get drunk? Dammit, Aje, is that your answer to everything?” Brian snapped. “Are you gonna be hungover tomorrow?”

“No, not hungover. No more drinking tonight. Just tired,” AJ explained. He jumped as he felt Kevin’s fingers tugging at his penis, which immediately hardened.

“Not hungover…just hung,” Kevin whispered in his ear. AJ’s mouth fell open.

“One moment, please, Bri.” He put the phone down on the bed and reached over to turn on the light.

“God, Aje, fair warning, please!” Kevin growled, blinking against the brightness.

“Did you just say what I think you said?” AJ asked. Kevin began to laugh.

“Yes, yes I did. And I was right, too.” He motioned to AJ’s now rockhard penis.

“Dammit, Kevin, I’m on the phone here,” AJ muttered, slapping away Kevin’s hand. Kevin slapped back and they soon began to wrestle. AJ pushed with all his might until Kevin landed on his ass on the floor, laughing so hard he couldn’t get back up. AJ laughed as well. “Sorry, Bri,” he said when he picked up the phone.

“AJ, do you have someone there in bed with you?”

“Um, not at the moment. They’re on the floor,” AJ said, unable to keep from cackling again.

“Wow, guess it didn’t take you long to get over Nick, did it?” Brian said. AJ got angry.

“Fuck Nick, Brian. Actually, well, no, I’m sure HOWIE is taking care of that all by himself right now.”

“AJ, Nick is really torn up about this.”

“Poor Nick,” AJ said in a mocking tone. “He shoulda thought about that before he went shoving his tongue in everyone’s mouth. Be here at ten tomorrow. And before you ask, I promise to be civil to them, and yes, Kevin will be at the meeting, too.” He hung up and threw the phone across the room. “Fucking Brian. I know he’s family, Kev, but he annoys the shit out of me.”

“What happened?” Kevin crawled back up on the bed and took his place under the covers. AJ sighed.

“Brian asked if I had someone in bed with me, then said something about me getting over Nick quick, and how torn up Nick is over all this.” AJ rubbed his temples.

“What are we gonna tell them?” Kevin asked hesitantly. “About this…about us. I mean, is there an us?”

“I’d like there to be,” AJ said softly. “I am really new at all this, Kevin, but I really care about you. I think you know that. And the way I’m attracted to you…daymn…” AJ finished helplessly, and Kevin grinned at him.

“I think that’s the nicest compliment I’ve gotten in a while.” Kevin yawned and stretched and AJ did his best not to drool. Naked Kevin was even more beautiful than Everyday Kevin. “I’m hungry. Got anything downstairs?”

“Kev, you know my fridge. Scary as hell. I think there are eggs and milk and butter and toast. Maybe.”

“Sweet. Omelets. I’m there.” Kevin stood, stretched again, and pulled on his jeans. “Go shower. I’ll round us up some chow.”

“Yes, Cowboy Kevin.” AJ stood and stretched. He dug through a drawer and found a pair of shorts.

They spent the evening in front of the TV, munching on eggs and toast and just generally talking. It was just like always, but something was better. Something was there that they hadn’t even noticed was missing before, but that they definitely recognized when it was there.

 

“So…um…do you want me to stay here tonight?” Nick asked Howie hesitantly around ten that night. It had been a very long, very weird day. Sparks kept flying between them, but the idea of hurting AJ and Kevin was still fresh, and they felt guilty even enjoying each other’s company.

“Of course I do,” Howie said. “If you want to.”

“I do. I just…”

“Nothing needs to happen, Nicky,” Howie said gently. “I don’t want to scare you.”

“You don’t scare me,” Nick replied. “I promise.”

“Well, I dunno about you but I’m tired. I’m ready for bed,” Howie said, reaching over and flipping off the TV.

“Me too,” Nick said, a yawn almost splitting his head in two. Howie smiled.

“You’re adorable.”

“Of course,” Nick agreed, and Howie laughed as he smacked him. Howie turned off all the lights and they made their way upstairs. Howie dug out his largest pair of shorts and gave them to Nick for pajamas. He put on a pair of sweatpants, and they crawled into bed.

Nick scooted to the far side, as far from Howie as possible. Howie looked at him. “You okay, Nick?”

“I just…I’m afraid to be close to you,” Nick said in a small voice.

“What?”

Nick rolled over to look at Howie. “Howie, I’ve been holding back these feelings for so long. I want you. I want to kiss you touch you taste you…even fuck you. I want this. But it’s not right now. Not the right time.”

“Come here and kiss me,” Howie said, his voice husky. “Touch me. Taste me. You can fuck me another time.”

Nick whimpered and rolled over, almost crushing Howie with an intense kiss. Howie’s cock immediately hardened and he groaned as Nick sucked on his tongue. The past weeks had been agony. As soon as he had realized that Nick was gay, he had wanted him. Wanted the tall blond body all for himself. But he had pushed those feelings away, not wanting to make Nick’s decisions for him.

“Howie…God…so good…” Nick moaned as he rubbed himself against Howie through the shorts and sweats they wore.

Howie slowly slid down Nick’s body, taking the shorts with him. “So beautiful,” he whispered, watching Nick’s long body become naked.

“Howie, what…” Nick stammered.

“I can’t let you do this to me. Not tonight. I want it too bad. I won’t stop if you do this. But I need to do it to you. Need to…” Howie took Nick’s length into his mouth before finishing the sentence.

“Oh, sweet Jesus!” Nick screamed, arching up into Howie’s hot mouth. Howie worked him fast and hard and feverishly. He knew Nick had had this done to him before, so he didn’t need to worry about scaring him. Nick’s hands fisted in Howie’s long hair as one of Howie’s hands came up to caress his chest. “Howie…holy fuck…so hot…so good…”

“Mmmm…Nicky…” Howie sighed as he moved to kiss Nick’s inner thighs, licking a line up the crease between his torso and his leg. He quickly darted back down to suck his cock once more.

“Fuck…Howie…I’m gonna cum…I’m gonna…ah….” Nick screamed Howie’s name as he filled Howie’s mouth. Howie drank down Nick’s cum as best he could. He had been ready but it had been a while for Nick. Howie wiped his face on the sheet and came up to cradle Nick’s quivering body in his arms. “Damn,” Nick said weakly.

“Shh…relax…” Howie whispered.

“What about you?”

“Another time. I have wanted to do that for forever now. Sleep. We need to sleep. Tomorrow’s gonna be rough,” Howie said with a sigh. Nick reached down and grabbed the covers, pulling them up over both their heads.


	17. Chapter 17

CONFLICT OF INTEREST  
Seventeen

 

“AJ, no. Stop it. Don’t…don’t touch me there.” Kevin darted across the bedroom, holding a pillow in front of his nakedness. “I need to get in the shower. They will be here in about an hour and I need a shower.”

“What? I’m not doing anything,” AJ said, his brown eyes innocent as he walked over to Kevin and ran a hand up and down his strong chest. AJ really had no intention of doing anything to Kevin but was thoroughly enjoying the way Kevin tried to get away. Kevin wasn’t used to AJ like this and it was way too much fun.

“You are too. You’re touching me. Stop that.” Kevin stepped out of AJ’s reach, inwardly moaning as he felt his cock push against the pillow. “Stop it. I’m gonna go down to the guestroom and shower in that bathroom.”

“Cool. I haven’t been in there for a while. I’ll shower with you.”

“Ajjjje,” Kevin almost whined. “Come on…I need to take a damn shower.”

“So do I. Let’s go.” AJ grabbed the pillow from Kevin as he walked by, tossing it over his shoulder onto the bed. Kevin groaned and followed AJ. He hoped that if he went along with him they could actually get ready. He was not into fooling around when he had someplace to be.

“I get to shower first,” Kevin said as AJ started the water. AJ looked at him.

“No. Together. My house my rules.”

“I’m sick of this my house my rules shit,” Kevin mumbled.

“Then leave.” AJ stuck his tongue out at him and wiggled his fingers under the water. “Ah. Perfect. Come on, Kevin. We don’t have all morning.” AJ stepped into the large shower and wet his hair. He began to whistle cheerfully as he opened the shampoo bottle.

“A child. I am dealing with a child,” Kevin sighed as he stepped into the shower behind AJ.

“And you love me,” AJ sang out as he continued to hum and whistle interchangeably.

Kevin took the shampoo from AJ and started to wash his own hair. He couldn’t help but watch AJ’s body as AJ started to soap himself down. AJ wasn’t very tall, but there wasn’t an ounce of fat on him. The muscles in his back stretched and retracted, and Kevin’s eyes slid down AJ’s spine to the tight cheeks of his ass. Kevin swallowed deeply.

“Like what you see, Kev?” AJ said without turning around.

“I dunno what you’re talking about. Move. I need to rinse my hair.” AJ gracefully moved out of Kevin’s way so he could stand under the water. Kevin closed his eyes and tilted his head back so the water could run through his short hair.

“God, Kev.” AJ’s voice was husky. “You are so damn fine.” Kevin felt AJ’s lips on his chest and he jumped.

“AJ, we don’t…oh shit…” Kevin gasped as AJ’s hand found his wet cock and stroked it. AJ bit down on Kevin’s chest, not far above his left nipple. AJ sucked the skin as his hand moved up and down Kevin’s hardness.

“It won’t take long…will it, Kevin? I need part of you inside of me,” AJ whispered, squatting down to take Kevin in his mouth.  
“Oh…fuck…” Kevin said, giving up all pretenses of fighting as AJ’s warm mouth enveloped him.

 

“Hey,” Brian said as Howie and Nick pulled up into AJ’s driveway. Howie was driving Nick’s car. “You guys are early. I didn’t know you could BE early, Nick.”

Howie glanced at his watch. “We’re only ten minutes early. How long have you been here, Bri?”

“About ten minutes. I didn’t want to go in without you guys.”

Nick looked at his best friend and smiled. “We don’t need you to protect us, Brian. We’re grownups.”

Brian blushed slightly. “I’m not gonna protect you…just…be the buffer. AJ was a little pissed last night when I called him. But I wouldn’t worry too much. He wasn’t alone when I called, either.”

Howie and Nick looked at each other with raised eyebrows. “Didn’t take HIM long,” Howie remarked.

“That’s what I said.” Brian led the way up AJ’s sidewalk and rang the bell.

 

“They’re here,” AJ said almost nervously as they heard the bell ring at nine-fifty. Kevin smiled at him.

“We don’t have to tell them anything, Aje,” he said gently.

“I’m not worried about that. I’m worried about punching Nick’s lights out and kicking Howie’s ass.” Kevin raised his thick eyebrows. “Well, hell, Kev, I mean, I’m glad you and I hooked up and all, and I guess we have them to thank, but Nick fucking kissed us! And Howie, man…”

“Howie didn’t know what was going on until Nick told him, AJ,” Kevin reminded him.

“Whatever. It’s still his fault,” AJ said stubbornly.

Kevin got up from his chair at the kitchen table. “You gonna make coffee? I’ll get the door.”

“Yeah,” AJ said with a sigh, reaching into the cabinet for the coffee. Kevin reached him in three long strides and whirled him around. He took AJ’s face in his hands and gave him a hard fast kiss. “What was that for?”

“Because I like when your eyes get all big and shocked. Nothing shocks you.”

“You are shocking me more and more every minute, Train. And I like it,” AJ said with a smile. Kevin smiled back.

 

“Uh, hi!” Brian said, surprised to see Kevin open the door. “Guess you DID stay here last night.”

“Yes, I did. Hi, Brian. Nick. Howie.” Kevin stepped aside to allow the three men to come in. “AJ’s making coffee in the kitchen. You can go ahead down to the studio.”

“Thanks, Kevin,” Howie said softly as he went by. Nick said nothing.

Nick and Howie went to the studio. Brian followed Kevin into the kitchen. “Hey, Aje.”

“Rok! How’s it hanging there, sexy?” AJ smiled at Brian as he looped mugs onto his fingers to carry them to the studio. Kevin grabbed the hot water and tea bags for Howie, while Brian picked up the pot of coffee.

“Look, guys, I know this is weird, and it kills me to be in the middle, but please don’t kill them,” Brian begged. “You’re big enough to, Kevin, and AJ has enough temper to do it. Just don’t.”

“Brian, I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Kevin’s eyes were innocent as he looked at Brian. “We are fine. No killing today.”

“You act like we’re mad or something,” AJ said over his shoulder. Brian remained in the kitchen, totally confused. He knew AJ. Knew Kevin. Knew that they SHOULD have been pissed off.

“Whoa. Maybe AJ finally grew up or something,” Brian whispered to himself, then followed them down the hall.

“Here’s your water and tea, D,” Kevin said, handing the box of tea to Howie and carefully setting down the hot water.

“Um, thanks, Kevin,” Howie said gratefully. Nick accepted his coffee cup from AJ without even meeting his gaze.

“Okay…what songs should we push at them first?” Brian asked, adding sugar to his own coffee and sitting down by Kevin behind the piano.

“I was thinking this one…the untitled one…” Kevin suggested, starting to play a slow melody.

“You sure you don’t want to start with something faster?” Nick said finally.

“Most of Black and Blue was fast. I thought we should go with the slow one…but if you think something different…” Kevin trailed off. Nick thought for a moment.

“Nah. Go ahead. Then what?”

“Well, why don’t we…” Brian got up for a spoon to stir his coffee, and froze as he walked towards Kevin. “Kevin, what’s that?”

“What’s what?”

“On your chest…that mark…”

Kevin looked down and blushed a furious red. His tank top had slightly slipped to the side, and above his left nipple was a very definite bruise. “That looks like a hickey,” Howie observed.

“It’s not a hickey!” Kevin snapped. Nick took a step closer, and smiled for the first time since he had walked into AJ’s house.

“Yeah, that DOES look like a hickey.”

“They’re right, Kev.” AJ said, his brown eyes dancing with amusement.

“You little horny shit!” Kevin growled, unable to see the humor in the situation. Howie and Nick looked from Kevin to AJ and started to chuckle. Brian’s mouth fell open. He slammed his coffee cup onto the piano.

“Hey! That’s expensive!” AJ yelled, grabbing the cup and quickly wiping the spill.

“NO. No no no no no NO!” Brian yelled, stomping back and forth to emphasize his words. “This isn’t happening. You two? Together? No.”

“Brian, look. We…” Kevin began.

“I can’t believe this.” Brian sat and put his head in his hands. “I really AM the only straight one!”

“Brian, it’s nothing we planned. We hated each other for the last few weeks…then we came back here yesterday and things just happened. Don’t be mad,” AJ begged, sitting down by his friend.

“He’s the one, isn’t he? The one you kicked onto the floor last night? That’s why they couldn’t reach him…he was here?”

“Yes,” AJ admitted.

“I don’t believe it.” Brian stared at the floor and then looked up at Kevin. “You guys have any other surprises I should know about?”

“Not that I’m aware of,” Kevin replied.

AJ turned to Nick and Howie. “Sorry…about everything…”

“No, I’M sorry,” Nick said softly. “I really didn’t think it would all turn out like this.”

“Neither did we,” Kevin said, and smiled.

“Okay. Enough of this. I can’t think about it. Can we get to work, please?” Brian begged. “Kevin, play. Play the new ballad. Let’s work on it and get a title.”

Kevin sat back down at the piano and began to play the song that he had written the music for and Howie had done lyrics for. Their voices blended. They took turns with the vocals. Soon everything was like it always was…no matter what kind of twists and turns and weird conflicts happened in the real world…everything blended perfectly in the music.

 

THE END


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